Chapter Thirty
ELLIE
Six years earlier
“Come on, Ellie, just give me one date.I promise, if you don’t have the best time, you’ve ever had, I won’t bug you again.”Dylan’s baseball coach has been trying to get me to go out with him for months.He’s a single dad, divorced three years ago and he coaches our boys to keep himself busy.He’s a nice guy.He’s fit, athletic, cute, but I just have never had any luck with men, and I’ve focused so much of my energy on Dylan and my business that I don’t give dating a second of thought … ever.
“Yeah, Mom, come on pleeeeease!”Dylan begs, with his hands folded together at his chest.How can I say no to that face?The answer is I can’t, I’ve never been able to, which is why I agree to go on a date with Coach Jake Thompson.What am I getting myself into?
Jake picked me up at 7’oclock sharp on Friday evening.He wouldn’t tell me where we were going but said I needed to wear something fun.I stepped out of the house wearing a red strappy sun dress with pink flowers on it and cherry red heels.My hair was up in a messy bun, and I actually took the time to put mascara and lip gloss on.Dylan told me I looked hot and pushed me out the door, then locked it so I couldn’t back out.I blew him a kiss as I got into Jake’s midnight blue Camaro; his divorce present to himself.
We drove out of our beautiful little town with the convertible top down and hit the highway, heading toward Sunset Valley, where most of the big restaurants and nightlife are.He assured me that our boys were fully capable and mature eleven-year-olds that would be perfectly fine at home alone for one night while we enjoyed ourselves.“You work hard, Ellie, you deserve this.Just sit back and enjoy the ride!”He reached over and set his hand on top of mine, which was resting on my knee.His hand grazed my thigh, and I felt a little shiver of anticipation dance along my skin.Something I hadn’t felt in years, almost twelve, if I’m being honest with myself.
He made reservations at the Lighthouse Point Grille.It was one of the nicest, most expensive, places in the city, with the most beautiful view of the river, overlooking the old lighthouse.“I’ve always wanted to go explore that lighthouse.”I told him as he slid my chair out for me at our dockside table, like a true gentleman trying his hardest to impress me.I let it slide, I’m here to have fun tonight.
“You’ve never been?”he asked, a little shocked.“It’s where everyone went back in high school, it was likethe spotto go if you wanted to … get lucky.”He cleared his throat and looked down at his menu; I could tell he was embarrassed that he let that last part slip out.
“Ahh, ok.You went there a lot then, huh?”I smiled, pulling out the embarrassment just a little bit more.
“Well, a few times, yeah.”He snuck a peek over the top of his menu and saw me holding back a laugh, my hand over my mouth.“Ok, alright, you got me!”He laughed and put the menu down.
We talked and conversation flowed easily.Our dinner arrived and we chatted throughout the meal about baseball, about the boys, about solo parenting and work.I could tell he was trying hard to avoid any topic that might touch on Dylan’s father, and he apologized endlessly for the one question that made my eyes sting with tears.It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk about Lee, it was just that I knew it would make me cry and I really didn’t want him to see me cry.
After dinner, he took me dancing at the salsa club.He was a horrible dancer, but he played it off and he made me laugh like crazy.I didn’t plan on it, but I might actually like you, Jake.
When I could tell he was so far out of his comfort level, I asked if we could go to one more place before he took me home.He drove me to the lighthouse and parked under the shadow of a tree that the moon peeked through, and we climbed the spiral staircase, leading to the lookout.It was breathtaking up there.The view, with the light reflecting against the surface of the water, the stars twinkling in the night sky, and his hand wrapped around my waist.He pulled me into his embrace, drawing me close, and I felt the roughness of his jaw beneath my fingertips just before he pressed the softest kiss onto my lips.
I had no intentions of letting this thing with Jake go too far and I definitely wasn’t going to bring him home and get Dylan all confused about where we stand, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my body was craving his touch right now.I tore myself away from him and he read my mind, telling me we should probably get back to the boys.
We walked back down the tower and got into his car, but before he turned the car on, I pulled the keys out of his hand and dropped them into the center console.We made out for an hour like a couple of teenagers who had snuck out for the night.We got as far as taking my dress off with me in his lap in the driver’s seat before I stopped him.I hadn’t slept with anyone since Lee … or Freddie … and I wasn’t ready for that just yet.
“I’m sorry, Jake.I …” I trailed off, shaking my head, and he leaned his forehead into mine, breathing heavily.
“It’s okay, Ellie.You don’t have to apologize.I’m not going anywhere; we don’t have to rush anything.”
He's a gentleman, that’s for sure.He took me home and collected Luke, leaving me with a soft kiss at my front door.“I’ll call you tomorrow.”He said, and I shut the front door and leaned against it with my head swirling.
* * *
Jake and I dated for nearly eight months until he was ready for more and I wasn’t ready for him and Luke to move into the farmhouse with us.I tried to tell him that a commitment that big was just going to take a bit more time for me to get used to, but he shook his head at that, “You know, Ellie, it’s not the commitment you’re afraid of.It’s that you don’t want to let go of Dylan’s father, and I respect that, I do, I’m not trying to replace him.But I’d like to have a place in your heart that’s equal to the place he has a hold of.”He sighed in resignation, taking a step away from me, “I want a future with you and with Dylan and Luke.Something we can grow into together, but if that’s not something you see in your future, then please let me know now.”
I inhaled a shaky breath, and in the dim light of the night, I could swear I saw an image of Lee appear and disappear like smoke in the air.I took that as my sign that I wasn’t ready for a new man to have that big of a piece of my heart and I shook my head slowly, giving him the answer he didn’t want but expected.As he nodded, a soft smile played on his lips, and he leaned in to kiss me gently on the forehead.His gaze lingered on me before he turned and strode away.I watched as his silhouette faded into the shadows, and the breath I was holding escaped as a sob.
I walked back into my house wondering why I continue to do this to myself;did I just make a huge mistake by letting this amazing man walk out of my life?
Chapter Thirty-One
LEE
Five years earlier
Several deployments into my career had seen me through my fair share of action, from the deserts of Afghanistan to the bustling streets of Seoul.I had made my way up the ranks to Major, earning my stripes, until fate intervened with my aircraft during an active enemy fire and nearly claimed my life.I walked out of the VA Hospital alive and healthy holding onto a shard of metal from my jet that was embedded in my left thigh and almost severed my femoral artery.
If it wasn’t for the quick thinking of my co-pilot, who was able to stop the bleeding in my leg long enough for help to arrive, I might have returned home in a casket, having died for a second time, but for real.As the flames engulfed the wreckage that was my plane, I radioed for backup, directing them to our location amidst the chaos.It was a close call, one that left me with a renewed sense of purpose: to survive and make it back to Ellie, the woman who had unknowingly become my anchor.
Stay alive for her.
It's all I want.
