Lavender frowned slightly, searching Colin’s eyes. Perhaps it was because of her own growing feelings for Austin but she noticed something that she’d never seen previously before. Something shone back at her, something she should have realised a long time ago.
All of a sudden, Vincent’s words came rushing back to her.
Lavender’s heart slowed as she asked, as calmly as she could, “Did you ask Vincent for my hand in marriage, Colin?”
Colin blinked in surprise. And then his gaze soften, a smile tugging at his lips. Lavender could not return it. It felt as if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped all over her.
“I thought I was being romantic by asking him first,” he said, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. She would have pulled her hand free had she not been frozen in shock. “When you revealed that you were betrothed to the Earl of Derby, I knew I had to act. I realised that I might have waited a little too long to reveal my feelings and I did not want lose my chance.”
“Colin…”
He shifted closer, until their arms brushed. “Lavender, I am helplessly in love with you. I have been for as long as I can remember and I had hoped that you would recognise my feelings. Now I know that I must say it boldly and loudly for you to know. I love you, Lavender. And it is my wish for us to spend the rest of our days married and happy with each other.”
“Colin…” Lavender didn’t allow herself to look away from him as she forced out her next to word. “No.”
Colin jerked in shock. “No?” he echoed. “What do you mean, no?”
“Exactly that, Colin.” She pulled her hand free. He looked down at them as if it were an act of betrayal. “I love you dearly but only as a friend. I feel no romantic feelings towards you nor do I believe that I will.”
“Do you love the earl then?”
She didn’t want to answer that. She didn’t think now was the time to explore such a thing. She only shook her head and said, “You should go on to the races. Or perhaps, if you are still feeling dizzy, you should go home and get some rest.”
“No.” Colin got to his feet, running his hand over his face. Lavender watched as he paced back and forth now and again before turning back to face her. “I accept what you have said. For now. I will still choose to believe, however, that you will come to fall for me in time.”
“Colin…”
“And the truth of the matter is that your betrothed is late. If you wait here any longer for him, so will you be. I shall escort you to the races.” After a beat, he added, “I hear that Lady Lively will be in attendance this afternoon as well.”
Lavender thinned her lips. The truth was that she did not want to be late. She’d planned this out too meticulously to be comfortable with everything not completely going her way. It bothered her that Austin did not respect her enough to follow through with his promises.
A horrible thought whispered through her mind. Perhaps he would rather spend time with a beautiful, demure lady who would not pressure him to attend such things? Was he already pulling away from her to make his way to the marquess’ daughter?
Jealousy seized her so soundly that Lavender was at a loss for words for a moment. Her mind was beginning to spiral. She’d never deemed herself an insecure lady and yet here she was comparing herself to a lady she hardly knew!
“Come.” Colin was upon her again, taking her hand. This time, he pulled her to a stand. “Let us go and enjoy ourselves. We can forget about everything that was just said.”
That’s easier said than done, she wanted to say. But she didn’t say anything, not pulling away as he led her to the door, even though she wanted to.
She supposed it would not be too bad to go with Colin. Austin clearly did not plan on showing up. Lavender refused to sit here and wait around for him, even though the thought of being abandoned by him tore an irreparable hole in her chest. It was a hole she would ignore for now. A hole that would not stop her from carrying out her plan.
Lavender nodded quietly to herself, resigning to attending the races with Colin.
But before they could take another step, the door opened.
Austin came limping in on a cane.
Chapter Twenty-Three
If he felt like collapsing before, it was nothing compared to walking into the drawing room of Latrice Manor and seeing the man who had put him in this state holding the hand of his betrothed.
For a second that felt far too long, Austin had to stifle the rage that choked him. He wanted to march forward and snatch her away from him, to put an end to this vicious cycle of jealousy he felt whenever Colin Asher was near.
But he was no in state to do such a thing. He woke up in a back room of White’s with a splitting headache and stars dancing before his vision. He didn’t know who had been there at the time, only that they had informed him of the fact that it was the next day and that it was best that he remained on bedrest. All Austin could think was that he had to get to Lavender. That Lavender was waiting for him.
He didn’t think he would show up to see him here.
“Austin!” Lavender gasped. She pulled away from Colin despite the look of displeasure on his face and hurried to Austin’s side. “My goodness, what happened to you?”
