‘Well. I do sometimes use the mirror.’
‘Have you sorted out her things yet?’
I shook my head.
‘Okay. I guess everyone is ready for that step in their own time. I thought it was extreme when my auntie threw all Uncle Derek’s possessions in the wheelie bin the day after his heart attack, but then we found out he’d been having an affair with the guy who jet-washed the bin, so it made a lot more sense.’
‘It’s not that I’m not ready. I just… don’t know what to do with it.’ I shook my head; that wasn’t quite right. ‘Not her clothes and toiletries, but the personal things. Presuming there are any, of course. This is Mum we’re talking about.’
‘You can keep whatever you want to.’ Blessing took hold of my hand. It felt so lovely, a tear finally slipped out and rolled down my cheek.
‘She wasn’t my birth mum,’ I said, my voice hoarse. ‘I was her cousin’s daughter. Mum left me everything in her will, but… I don’t know. She never spoke about her family, apart from passing comments about what lowlife criminals they were when she was lecturing me about something. My birth mother died when I was a baby, so I never had to worry about who she was or whether she’d ever come back for me. But what if I find something with Mum’s possessions?’
‘Something proving your family were as terrible as she said?’
‘Or the complete opposite.’ I sighed. ‘You knew Mum. She was uncompromising. Everything was right or wrong, good or bad. No excuses and no second chances.’
‘So, you might have a lovely pair of grandparents somewhere, their dodgy days long behind them. An aunt who’d love to meet the niece who’s her biological granddaughter. You might have a whole family waiting to love you.’
I couldn’t speak, but Blessing knew what I was thinking.
‘And every time you look in her mirror, which I’m guessing isn’t often, you think about whether the evidence is buried in that wardrobe, behind it.’
‘Something like that.’ I sniffed.
She dropped my hand and leant over for a proper hug. ‘Well, that explains why your T-shirt is on back to front.’
Blessing fetched the rest of the snacks, waiting until three quarters of the chocolate-chip cookies were gone before asking whether I wanted to finish the makeover, keep eating or brave a look in Mum’s bedroom while she was there to provide moral support.
‘I don’t really want all those layers on my face. Even that bit of tester felt weird. But could you show me how to use the mascara and lipstick, maybe a bit of eyeshadow, while we finish the cookies?’
‘Emmie, I’ve eaten two of those cookies.’
‘What?’
She laughed. ‘I’m not judging. I had a burger on the way here, remember? But I don’t hate discovering that underneath the cool, calm exterior is a real-ass woman who feeds her emotions with chocolate.’
‘That’s the thing,’ I said, although it was hard to decipher because I’d somehow ended up with another cookie in my mouth. ‘I don’t eat stuff like this. I don’t wallow in my feelings. I’m usually too busy to think about them.’
Blessing handed me the last one in the packet. ‘Here. You’ve got some catching-up to do.’
Blessing stayed for another hour, fetching a spare mirror from her car before showing me the right shades to complement myArctic-hare complexion, and how to add a ‘healthy glow’ rather than ‘Barb vibes’. We then moved to the kitchen so I could make up batches of sweet and savoury pastry for tomorrow’s pasties while Blessing messed about with my meat thermometer.
‘Do you have anything else needs doing tonight?’ she asked, while helping me wrap the pastry so it could be stored overnight in the fridge.
‘Not a lot. I didn’t make as many pasties today, so have plenty of fillings for tomorrow. I’ll water the herbs and that’s about it.’
‘What do you do in the evenings, apart from food prep?’
‘A couple of times a week, I go to the wholesalers. I clean the ovens, check up on stock. Sometimes have time to do some admin, accounting, that sort of thing.’
Blessing frowned. ‘No, I meant apart from work. What do you do for fun?’
‘Oh.’ This conversation was reminding me why not having friends outside the airport was a good idea. Apart from when they hugged me, said kind things, taught me new skills and helped me wash up, of course.
‘I don’t get much chance for fun in the evenings. I’m usually in bed not long after nine, so I can get up at four-thirty.’
Blessing waited; she wasn’t letting me get out of this.
