‘You being with me, instead of at the party. Walking me back. Your family are already convinced there’s something going on between us.’
Pip stopped, turning to face me. After an embarrassed moment, I dared to look up at him.
‘Isn’t there?’ He gripped the back of his neck with one hand, and I realised I wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.
‘I… I don’t know.’
‘Okay. Well… would you like there to be?’
‘I…’ I stalled, wanting to say yes more than anything. Except, how could I, now I knew something huge had happened between Gabe and my mum? ‘The past couple of days have been a lot. Brilliant – but very disorienting, for all sorts of reasons. I could decide that while I’m being reckless, why not go all out, have a holiday romance? But I’m not quite my old self right now. And I’m not confident enough in this new Emmie to know whether it’s something she’ll regret.’
Pip looked steadily at me, his brow furrowed. ‘I wasn’t referring to a holiday romance.’
My heart plunged into the pit of my stomach.Had he been talking about friendship? Pasty making?
‘Emmie, I really like you. I thought that clumsy excuse about craving a pasty last week made it obvious. I know my family are making daft assumptions. My life is here, yours is over there. But whatever this is, whatever it could be…’ He stopped, shaking his head as he glanced away, then turned back again. ‘I’m not the kind of man who messes about with mainlander flings.’
‘So what did you mean by something going on, if we don’t want a holiday thing? Neither of us have time for anything long-distance.’
After a long moment, he sighed. ‘I don’t know what I meant.’
‘Well, that’s that then, isn’t it?’ I said, my hammering pulse protesting otherwise. Here I was, standing in the moonlight, listening to the man I’d been dreaming about for two years tell me that he liked me, and I was somehow talking him out of anything going on between us. ‘There’s nothing going on.’
We were nearly back at the barn when Pip spoke again.
‘I hope that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out as friends.’
‘Of course!’ I said, cringing at how keen I sounded. ‘I’d love to see more of the island while I’m here, if you have time to show me. Plus, you’ve got to try Lily’s pasties.’
‘And I’ll drop the bike back tomorrow.’
‘I’ll come and get the bike.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’ll enjoy the walk.’
It was the only decent excuse I had for returning to the farm, and I was desperate to ask Gabe for Mum’s letters.
‘Tell you what, come at lunchtime and I’ll show you the best spot on the island.’
‘You won’t be working?’
He grinned, broadening his accent as he replied. ‘Sure, us island men need to eat. I’ll pack us a traditional island picnic.’
‘Okay. One o’clock?’
To my disappointment, we’d reached the barn driveway.
‘Perfect. I’ll say goodnight here, if you don’t mind. I’d bet Basil’s horns on my big sister spying on us from her bedroom window.’
He looked up at the attic and blew a jaunty kiss before giving me a wink and a nod that made my breath catch, then he disappeared into the night.
Every muscle in my body groaned with exhaustion, but thoughts were fizzing about in my head like fireworks. I got ready for bed, mixed a hot chocolate and reached for the letters, safely stored in the bedside table.
This time, I could picture the man who had written it, hear the words as if he’d spoken them out loud in his measured rumble.
Meeting Gabe had changed everything.
