‘Of course, that’s fine,’ I managed to stammer. As embarrassing as this situation was, Pip leaving might just make it easier.
He kissed his sister, drained his glass, threw me the faintest twitch of a smile and left me to it.
10
‘I’m sorry.’ Lily leant forward, not looking especially sorry. ‘Have you not come here to visit Pip?’
I took a slow sip of wine. It was almost fully dark now. A bat flitted across the indigo sky. Even here, what I presumed to be fairly inland, I could hear the water and feel the faint scratch of salt air upon my skin.
‘It’s been a very unusual day.’
‘Ooh, good. Start from the beginning and tell me all about it.’ Lily settled back, pulling one of the throws scattered about across her knees. ‘And look – even better.’
Malcolm, who had lingered in the kitchen, appeared carrying an enormous board covered in cheese, slices of crusty baguette, grapes and other fruit.
I was so hungry that I overcame my politeness and filled a plate before reciting the events of the day.
‘So,’ I finished, after another round of cheese and second glass of wine, ‘I have no idea how long I’m staying for, or what I’m going to get up to. My only plan is to sit on the beach and read my mum’s letters.’
‘And you’ve no clue who the man is?’
‘Only his initial.’ I wasn’t ready to share that yet.
‘You might have figured out that everyone knows everyone here. If it’s a C or an L, then it might not be straightforward, but if it’s, I don’t know, an F or a V, then I could be introducing you by tomorrow evening.’
‘Did he give anything else away?’ Malcolm asked. ‘About his occupation, or whether he lived in a village or on the coast? His family?’
I took a moment to consider how to answer. I’d not come here with the intention of finding this man. I still had no idea how the story ended for him and Mum, whether he really was the person in the photograph, or if he’d turned out to be someone unkind, or even dangerous. There had to be a reason my mother developed such a bitter attitude towards men and marriage.
‘Not really. But I’ve only read a couple of the letters.’ I put my glass on the table. ‘Um, if you don’t mind, I’ve been awake since four-thirty. I think I might head to bed.’
‘Of course.’ Lily heaved herself up. ‘I’m amazed you’ve got the energy to string a sentence together after today.’
We walked back to the hall and up a wide staircase that led to a corridor with six doors.
‘These doors are the guest bedrooms, although yours is the only one finished at the moment. That door at the end leads to the top floor, where there’s bedrooms for everyone you’ve met plus Jack, our six-year-old, and Beanie.’
She opened the yellow-room door, and I followed her in.
‘You’re my guinea pig, so let me know if there’s anything obvious missing, broken or that isn’t quite perfect. There’s a hot drinks station and mini fridge, towels and a robe, spare blanket in the wardrobe in case it gets chilly… breakfast is whenever you like because we aren’t officially open yet. Oh, and this is the login and password for the Internet. It’s patchy at best, but we’ve dial-up downstairs if you need it. Anything else I’ve forgotten?’
‘I can’t think of anything.’
I’d never stayed in a B&B before, so had no idea.
‘Great. My number’s on the notepad by the bed. Message if you need anything – day or night. Treat this as if you’re a paying customer, because you are. I used to run a café so I know the value of secret family recipes.’
She slipped out, almost shutting the door before flinging it open again and coming back to squeeze my arm.
‘I’m so glad you’re here. My brother hasn’t looked like that in a very long time. It’s lovely for him to have a… friend.’
I waited for her footsteps to disappear downstairs, then changed into my new pyjamas before settling on the bed with a decaf tea and a home-made brownie from the refreshments tray. A small bedside lamp bathed the room in a gentle glow. Like the rest of Sunflower Barn, it was styled with simple décor that oozed quality. Mum had always scoffed about spending money on fripperies like cushions or pictures. A house was meant to be functional. Who cared what it looked like?
Me, I realised as I compared Sunflower Barn’s clean lines with my battered old bedroom. It made me feel peaceful. Soothed. And, given how my life had tumbled into a rabbit hole, I appreciated that more than I’d thought possible.
I replied to Blessing’s numerous text messages while I sipped my tea, answering her questions and sending anything helpful that my frazzled brain could think of. I logged into the Wi-Fi, then typed a reply to Gregory’s email reminding him there were ten days before the contract ran out, and I was on my first holiday ever so please back off. Then, instead of pressing send, Ideleted it, deleted his email and fetched the stash of letters from my bag.
12 November 1985
