‘You know I can’t do that.’ I gasped, finally doing up a buckle.
‘Then I should get to walk by myself!’ he yelled, spinning around and marching down the path. ‘I’m sick of her ruining my life!’
‘I’ll walk with him,’ Toby said, appearing from the kitchen as he crammed in a corner of toast, Hazel in a sling across his chest. ‘We oldest kids have to stick together.’
Isla stopped crying, mouth dropping open as she twisted her head to watch Toby hurrying off down the path after her brother. Without another word, she stuffed her foot into the other shoe, grabbed her bag and lunchbox and started running.
‘Wait for me, Toby!’
‘Come on, then.’ Toby held out his hand and she grabbed it gleefully. ‘I think Mum could do with a few minutes’ peace before work starts, so I’ll take you to school today.’
The second they’d disappeared around the overgrown hedge, I sat on the doorstep and cried.
By the time Toby returned I was reclining on my restored bench, cradling a mug of tea and trying to summon the energy to start getting ready for the Bloomers arriving in an hour.
‘That was some morning,’ he said, coming to sit beside me.
It was all I could do to nod, scared to speak in case I started crying again.
‘Is it always like that?’
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘Well. It’s oftenlikethat, but rarely that bad.’
‘I thought a baby was hard work.’ He blew out a comical sigh.
‘Thank you for taking them to school. This has been… forty minutes of bliss.’
We sat for a minute, watching the butterflies dancing around a patch of purple thistles poking through the broken fence.
‘Can I make a suggestion?’ Toby asked.
I bristled slightly at the thought of an eighteen-year-old having a suggestion to make about my parenting challenges, but on the off chance it was about DIY, I nodded for him to go ahead.
‘Maybe you should find time for this more often.’
You think?
‘That’s a great suggestion. I don’t suppose you have an extra couple of hours in the day I could borrow, do you? Because I can’t seem to find any. And by the evening, when I finally have some time to catch up on useful things like cleaning or reading a book, I’m knackered. Some days I barely have the energy to eat.’
‘You might find if you took a bit of time out for yourself at the start of the day, the rest of it seems easier.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Also…’
‘Also, what?’ I huffed. ‘Might as well tell me what you think!’
‘Have you thought about being more… organised?’
I had to laugh. ‘Am I seriously being told to sort my life out by a technically homeless, teenage dad?’
‘Okay, so technically I’m not homeless. First job of the day, once I’ve spoken to college, is to transfer everything official to this address. Secondly, it’s like those boiling frogs Nicky was telling us about. I didn’t realise how bad things had got with Courtney, it happened so slowly. I needed you to give me some hard truths. This is me returning the favour. How much better do you feel having had a bit of time to sit and soak up the sunshine this morning?’
I had to admit, I felt like a whole new person.
‘You’ve seen how it is, Toby. I know it makes sense. But I’ve got a lot of stuff going on.’
‘Well, like I said, it’s a good job you’ve got me, then, isn’t it? How about I cook dinner a couple of times a week, play with the kids while you use the extra time to do whatever else needs doing?’
