‘Right now—’ he stretched out his long legs until his feet almost reached mine ‘—the priority is to survive until Ellis and Billy don’t need me any more.’
‘What then?’ I asked, expecting him to share a wild plan about travel or a job.
He picked up the dead cigarette and rolled it between his fingers before slowly grinding it into the plate.
‘Then my work here on earth is done.’
I wasn’t shocked by his admission. Only that he’d shared it so willingly.
‘Maybe things will have got better by then.’
‘Thingsprobably will get better. I won’t.’
His voice was flat, matter-of-fact.
‘You don’t know that,’ I whispered. ‘There’s always hope.’
He glanced at me, eyes glinting. ‘Why is it that you’re the first person to say that who could make me want to believe it?’
I shrugged, completely lost for words.
‘I’ve never met someone so relentlessly hopeful.’
‘What?’ That was news to me.
‘You chose “Wuthering Heights” for karaoke, despite not being able to sing for shit. You then belted it out as if ten-thousand people were loving every note.’
‘It sounds worse if you don’t go for it.’
‘You keep watering that plant on the kitchen windowsill. It was already long dead when I moved here.’
I shook my head. ‘Someone’s got to keep believing in the underdogs. You never know what a bit of love and attention might do.’
Jonah gave me a sidelong glance. Neither of us missed the double meaning in that comment.
‘Okay, so you’ve just given me a new life mission.’
He raised an eyebrow in question, mouth creasing in the beginnings of a smile.
‘Somehow, I’m going to find a way to infect you with my relentless hope. By the time Ellis and Billy don’t need you any more – which, by the way, is probably never; I can’t imagine not needing Nicky, and you’ve been through far too much together already – I’ll have given you a whole load of other reasons to stick around on planet Earth.’
‘Such as?’
I shrugged. ‘There are a lot of karaoke songs we didn’t get round to on my birthday.’
Before he could answer, the patio was suddenly flooded with light. Someone had turned the conservatory light on. I was still blinking away the dazzle when this was followed up by two gentle thuds on the window behind us.
Turning around, I saw Nicky, wearing her favourite llama onesie, peering at us with a huge ‘What the hell?’ expression on her face.
Before she could come outside and humiliate me, Jonah casually got up and walked back to the kitchen. As soon as he’d disappeared inside, Nicky slid open the conservatory door.
‘It’s two-thirty, Libby. What are you doing?’ she rasped, face still incredulous as I got up and pushed past her to get inside, flopping onto a wicker armchair.
‘I had a headache and couldn’t sleep, so needed painkillers.’ Although, for some reason, I’d totally forgotten about the hammer causing havoc inside my skull. ‘I decided fresh air might help, and Jonah was already out there, smoking.’ I shrugged my shoulders, as if trying way too hard to act innocent.
‘So, what, you thought you’d join him?’
I raised my eyebrows. Nicky had smoked more than a couple of illicit late-night cigarettes with girls who’d lived here previously.
