He finished tying my shoe.
‘You can do this, Rachel. Go and find the life she saved us for.’
‘I don’t want to go without you.’
There was a long silence. ‘If I come, I’ll bring this with us. Not Snake, but someone just like him. I’m the problem here. You’re better off without me. You know you’re better off without me.’
Reaching forwards, he picked my phone up off the bed. I stood up gingerly, slowly balancing my bag on one shoulder. For the second time, my brother phoned the police to save me. The last thing I heard as I let myself out was his careful recitation of the long, dangerous list of illegal substances currently stored in Grandma’s pantry.
They arrested Sam that afternoon, round about the time I bought my train ticket to London. He eventually got transferred to a secure hospital, where once free of drugs, he learned to draw, then paint, to ease the panic in his head.
Snake spent a couple of nights in jail before his evil henchmen posted bail and he got straight back to business. Two months later, he skipped town for good.
Would I have returned then, had I known? Returned to the House of Hideous Memories?
Left my current job in London, waiting tables for depraved old men who called me Anna, wearing next to no clothes and a bleak smile?
Perhaps.
I now lived on pennies plus the tips earned allowing greasy men to fawn over me, sleeping in a bedsit with intermittent electricity, reliably non-existent heating and a bathroom I shared with eight other people, all of whom terrified me.
But I thought I was free. Believed myself to be in control, having started again with a new life, calling myself a new name. I would not, and did not, go home to save my life. So why did I go back three years later? The same reason I did most things – to save my brother.
In the end, I spent the first half of Christmas Day with Sam and April. We walked four miles through the fields in the morning before cooking roast chicken and pecan pie in my cramped kitchen while Sam dozed on the sofa. To give her credit, April pulled her weight in between her numerous smoking breaks. She had even bought me a present – a wedding planner book. I had to smile as I pictured myself wrapping it back up and giving it to Larissa, but I begrudgingly appreciated the thought.
Perry arrived at four to take me to HCC for a late dinner with his parents. He shook hands with a deflated Sam and grinned at April, waiting for them to leave before saying, ‘I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we skip dinner and stay here? We can veg out on the sofa watching cheesy Christmas specials and eat junk food until we can’t get up again.’
‘An excellent plan. Let’s do it,’ I said, playing along with the joke.
He pretended to hand me his phone. ‘You call Mother and let her know we can’t be bothered to come while I open the chocolates.’
‘On second thoughts, I’ll get my coat.’
Parked outside sat a shiny, red car. It had a tiny back seat and a soft top, so I guess that made it expensive.
‘Wow. Is this your Christmas present?’
Perry grinned at me. ‘No. It’s yours.’ He held out the keys. ‘Happy Christmas, Faith.’
My astonishment puffed out in a cloud of wintry vapour.
‘What?’
‘I’m giving you this car for Christmas.’
‘But I can’t afford a car. I can’t afford the insurance, or tax. I can’t afford the petrol.’
‘The insurance is set for the year. As is the tax. And you can finally use the credit card I gave you for wedding purchases to buy petrol. You can’t refuse. It’s part of the present.’
I ogled this ridiculous, ostentatious, flashy car and tried to pull my jaw back up into an acceptable position. Perry could easily afford it. I knew men like him bought their girlfriends things like this for Christmas. I even knew he wouldn’t mind a couple of books, a jumper and a homemade voucher promising to cook him a monthly slap-up meal in return.
‘I’m sorry. This car is… something else. But I can’t accept it.’
‘Go on, tell me why. I have a perfect counter-argument for every possible reason you might use to reject this.’
‘Perry, I can’t drive.’
He smiled, leaning forwards to kiss me as he opened the passenger door and took out two magnetic learner plates. ‘First time for everything.’
