‘Well, they may not want to go! And there’s hardly any point if you’re going to repeat your vows here at the reception, is there?’
‘It’s fine,’ I interrupted, leaning back while Mike placed down my starter with a wink. ‘I don’t mind if there’s only me, Perry and enough witnesses to sign the register. Becoming Perry’s wife is what matters. Not who sees it, how grand the party is afterwards, or any of that other stuff.’
What about a pretty dress? the vain, shallow part of my brain cried. If you’re going to have a swish, swanky wedding, you might as well do it in a beautiful dress! Or at least not a disgusting, ill-fitting one!
I added it to my mental minutes.
Note: Faith’s brain requested a vote on whether or not she should wear the Ghost Web. Overruled.
‘Well, that’s perfect then, isn’t it?’ Milton added, through strained teeth. ‘We can have a breakfast for those who don’t fancy the church, and all meet in the ballroom for the photo shoot at one-thirty.’
A morsel of crab got wedged in my windpipe.
‘Excuse me?’ I spluttered, after much choking and trying to hide my mortification behind a linen napkin. ‘The what?’
Nobody said anything. Perry shifted in his seat.
‘By photo shoot, I presume you mean photographer, as in a man or woman who will come and take photographs of the wedding that we then privately look through before choosing our favourites to take home in an album? That is what you meant by photo shoot? Perry?’
Additional note: Faith’s voice has now entered supersonic frequencies that are near impossible to decipher. There may be some inaccuracies in the minutes after this point. Which may be a good thing all round.
Perry placed a restraining-slash-comforting hand on my leg.
‘This is a big day for the Uppertons. And you, of course! We wanted to have an extra special way to remember it by, soNottinghamshire Lifeare coming to take some pictures, do a small feature.’
‘Ooh.’ Natasha clapped her hands together a few times with glee. ‘It’ll be likeHello!’
‘No.’
‘Oh, come on now, Faith. Please don’t be difficult about absolutely everything,’ Larissa snapped.
‘No.’ I shook my head, trying to steady the roar inside and focus on Perry, so he could see how much this meant.
‘Darling.’ I could hear the frown. ‘They won’t bother you; it’ll be no different from a normal wedding photographer. You didn’t think we’d have no photos, did you?’
‘I can’t do it.’
I’m coming for you.
‘Why not?’
I felt as though someone had stuck me with an HCC steak knife.
‘I’m not being difficult. It’s not that… I mean… I can’t be…’ I took a long, deep breath in. Remembered the technique Hester had shown us at choir rehearsal the night before:you are in a storm. It is swirling, churning, picking up bits of your precious, fragile life and smashing them about. But you, you strong and courageous women, are in the eye of the storm. You watch it rage around you, but it will not destroy you! Breathe in hope, wise women. Breathe out panic and doom! Blow out all your trembling terror. Breathe in calm. Peace. Resilience. A million women before you have braced this storm. Stand up, shoulders back, head high! You cannot control the storm, choir, but you can stop it controlling you!
I breathed in calm, courage, wisdom. Puffed out a microgram of fear and despair. Did it a few more times while Mike brought our main course, throwing me an encouraging smile as he topped up my drink.
I finally reasoned that if Kane ever readNottinghamshire Life, the chances of which seemed a zillion to one, he’d already reached Nottinghamshire and was well on the way to finding us. Might as well get it over with quickly at that point. Besides,August was nearly ten months away. Anything could have happened by then.
‘Okay. I’ll do the shoot.’ With a mask on? Or my veil in front of my face?
Next item on the agenda: bridesmaids.
I hadn’t been surprised to see Natasha at the dinner. Typical tactics, making it impossible for me to say no. And, honestly, I wasn’t bothered. It gave Rosa another dress to make.
Hah. Natasha was just the pre-emptive strike.
‘So, Natasha, of course.’ Larissa gave her a brisk smile. ‘And Hugh’s sister Catherine. We thought of asking Johanna and Geoff’s eldest, Marianne or Mary or whatever it is, but she might be in Switzerland. Probably ought to have the chairwoman of the committee. Who is it these days? Margot Pemberley?’
