But before April could answer, a hush fell over the one thousand strong crowd as the curtain began to open in the Derry Millennium Forum.
‘Ladies and gentlemen!’ the evening’s host announced. ‘Welcome to the Community Choir Sing-Off national finals!’
We were fifth to perform. A good slot, according to Hester, as it left you fresh in the judges’ minds. An excruciating slot, according to the rest of the choir members, as it meant sitting and listening to four of the best community choirs in the kingdom smash it, rock it out and bring the house down.
We had a twenty-minute interval before going on. This resulted in a sudden panic when, as we lined up in preparation to take our place centre stage, we realised Janice was missing.
‘She’s in the loo again,’ Millie declared. ‘I told her not to eat that packet of fig rolls. “It can only mean bad news,” I said. But, oh no, what do I know? “Sound as a pound, Mille,” she said. “Solid as a rock,” she said. “Intestines of steel”, apparently. Well, I said?—’
‘Enough!’ Hester glowered down the line. ‘Can somebody please go and see what’s happening? Rowan. You’re at the back. Go.’
Rowan curled her lip up. ‘Urgh. No chance.’
A toot of steam escaped from Hester’s ears.
‘Fine!’ Rowan sprinted off, as easily as she could in a slinky red dress and six-inch heels, calling back, ‘I’m an internet sensation, you know. Internet sensations aren’t supposed to sort out old ladies stuck on toilets with fig roll issues.’
Rosa shook her head. ‘Oh my goodness. Since she went virus, that girl getting too big a head. By the time that tour finished, she’ll be going Robbie Williams.’
Kim shuffled in front of me. ‘Actually, if we’re waiting for Janice, I think I might pop to the loo…’
Hester zoned in her laser beam glare.
‘I can’t help it, Hest! I’m dead nervous!’
‘No one else is leaving this line.’
We muttered and wriggled for a few seconds as we waited, adjusting dress straps and tucking stray curls of hair back into place. A ripple of applause welcomed the host back on stage to announce our appearance, and we froze, all eyes on Hester.
‘She’s not gonna make it,’ Rowan huffed as she clacked back into the wings. ‘Said it’s like Mount Vesu?—’
‘Stop!’ Mags begged. ‘I’m feeling sick enough as it is.’
‘Well. Anyway, she isn’t leaving that bathroom anytime soon.’
A larger round of applause, and one of the stage crew beckoned Hester forwards.
‘What are we going to do?’ Leona gaped. ‘We might get away without her voice, but we’ve got to have an even number or the moves won’t work.’
‘Someone else could drop out,’ April said, wincing as the rest of the choir launched optical daggers at her.
Hester closed her eyes momentarily, sucked in a deep breath, and held up one finger to indicate she needed a minute.
Whipping out her phone, she jabbed at the screen. ‘How fast can you get here?’ she barked down the line. ‘Make it two and you’re on.’
Baffled, we exchanged glances while Hester marched over to the crew member and muttered briefly at him. He stepped forwards and signalled to the host that there had been a slight delay.
The door behind us slammed open, and Marilyn burst through. ‘Ta daa!’ she yelled in a sort-of backstage whisper. ‘Look, girls, I knew wearing red was a portent!’ Spinning around to show us her dress, her smile nearly split her face in two.
‘I can’t believe it!’ She dashed up and down the line. ‘Where do I go? Here? Hester, you are awesome. I knew you’d let mesing in the end. I prayed for it and everything. Hooten tooten! This is one of the best days of my life!’
Hester coughed, a look of panic flitting across her face. We needed Marilyn’s moves, not her voice. Polly reached out and pulled her into the line. ‘Yes, well,’ she said, pointedly. ‘You’ve been one of our best members, Marilyn. Truly embraced the spirit of the choir. Grace – that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it, Hester?’
Hester blinked a couple of times. ‘Yes,’ she said, her voice squeaking on the word. ‘Grace. Right. Let’s go.’ As Marilyn skipped past, she leaned forwards and said, ‘You can sing, as long as you keep it quiet.’
Marilyn smacked Hester on the backside without pausing. ‘Don’t worry, Hest. I’ll make you proud.’
Hester shook her head as she took her place at the back of the line. ‘You always do.’
