In the few minutes it took for Gideon’s car to pull into the space beside Kalani’s balcony, I had almost stopped trembling, and felt as though my brain was beginning to unscramble.
I moved out of the patch of shadowy wall I’d been leaning on into the light so he could spot me.
‘Hey.’
I tried to reply with something normal, like ‘thanks for coming’ but instead, my face crumpled and I fell into his arms. We stood there in the damp darkness as I wept and, beneath the embarrassment of running out and the sadness, I could only wonder how on earth I’d managed these moments without him.
‘Thank you for coming,’ I squeaked, eventually.
‘Thank you for calling,’ he said, pressing a kiss against the top of my head.
‘I probably smell.’
‘Yep. Like vomit and… is that beetroot?’ Instead of drawing away, he pulled me even tighter against his chest.
I think it was then that my heart finally gave in and fell in love with this man. His kindness, his quiet optimism, the deep, strong roots he’d put down in the soil of his family, and his home.
‘Do you want to go back inside?’
I shook my head. ‘Will you take me back to Riverbend?’
‘Of course.’
‘Is it okay if you message Hattie and let her know?’
I could feel his smile against my hair. ‘Those Gals have been sneaking glances out here every thirty seconds. I think they’ll figure it out.’
* * *
After a quick shower and change into my joggers, I found Gideon in the living room with a pot of tea and a plate of toast. Apart from the fire flickering in the grate, the room was in darkness, and we curled up together on the sofa, gazing out of the window at the moon riding the tops of the trees.
‘Laurie brought roses.’
‘Ah. Okay.’
‘Can I tell you why a bunch of flowers has the power to make me throw up?’
‘Sophie, you can tell me anything.’
By the time I’d finished talking, including breaks to cry and eat more toast, Laurie had dropped Hattie off. She peeped into the living room, blew us a kiss and went up to bed.
‘It’s so humiliating.’ I sighed, once Gideon knew everything. ‘I’m sick of this stupid phobia having such control over me. You should see me scurrying past the flower section in the supermarket.’
‘I’m sorry you had to give up something you loved so much. Even just as a hobby.’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t think I’d have time for it now, alongside my business.’
He frowned. ‘It’s quite a change, from floristry to a historical author. I assumed you’d need a history degree or something.’
Oh, crap.
I swallowed back the ball of guilt suddenly blocking the air from reaching my lungs.
‘My extreme career change is another long story. I’ll save that for a different time.’ I yawned and stretched, emphasising my point.
It was a fitful night, the relief at having told Gideon about my family warring with my hatred for the lie about my work. I longed for the day when I could finally be honest about my reason for being here. I could only hope that he’d understand and forgive me.
If he didn’t, well, I eventually resigned myself, as the clock ticked into the early morning, I’d simply have to do what I always did. Pack up my home and leave, without looking back.
