I shook my head. ‘But he’s never been off travelling the world without me before.’
‘How do you feel about what he said?’
‘About it being okay to see other people?’ My shoulders automatically hunched. ‘If he was here, I’d hate it. After being committed for so long, how could it mean anything other than, “I’m bored of you”? But with him being away, as a temporary thing, what if it’s the only way to make it work?’
‘If it is, are you okay with that?’ She frowned. ‘I know we’re all different when it comes to these things, but I couldn’t just pick up where we left off knowing he’d been out there doing who knows what.’
‘But is it better to be honest about it, or wonder if he’s simply doing it anyway, behind my back?’
‘Jessie, if you’ve been clear that you hate the idea, then he shouldn’t want to do it either with your permission or in secret. Maybe the question here is do you trust him to put how you feel above some holiday fling with bikini girl?’
‘Maybe I have to prioritise howhefeels, for now.’ I tried to ignore the faint look of pity creeping onto Connie’s face. ‘Maybe that’s the only way we can stay together.’
She was quiet for a moment. ‘Is it worth staying together, if it means making yourself miserable?’
I shrugged. ‘Breaking up will make me feel worse.’
She waited for me to elaborate.
‘It’s hard to explain quite how bad life was before Seb. I was like this dented pinball, ricocheting about from one disaster to another. Seb steadied me. He gave me the stability of a job, a home. Security. I’m honestly terrified at the thought of how bad my life would end up if I had to go it alone.’
Connie gently took my drink out of my hand and placed it on the wicker table. She firmly took both my hands in hers and looked me right in the eye.
‘Jessie,thisis where you are. You have a great job. A home. A busy social life. Friends and family who love you. You arethrivingwithout him.’
Before I could process that bombshell, a figure in a fabric suit of armour popped up beside Connie’s chair, causing both of us to jump an inch off our seats.
‘Wilf,’ Connie said with a resigned tone. ‘Why aren’t you in bed?’
‘I can’t sleep.’
‘Okay, but can you remember that we agreed you’d read for a bit if that happened, so I can talk to Jessie?’
His lips flattened into a stubborn line. ‘I want to talk to Jessie; she’s my friend too.’
‘You can talk to her another time. It’s past your bedtime, and you’re coming to the Barn with me tomorrow. You don’t want to be too tired to help Isaac, do you?’
‘No I don’t want to be too tired but I can’t get to sleep!’ Wilf’s voice rose in agitation.
‘That’s why I said you could read.’
‘But that won’t help because I have a question and when I’ve stopped reading I’ll just start thinking about the question again so I’llneverbe able to sleep, ever again! And then I’ll be so tired at the Barn, Isaac will get cross with me and not want to be my friend any more. And then—’
Connie deftly took hold of his hands to stop them jerking, and spoke slowly and calmly enough to interrupt his panicked torrent. ‘What’s the question?’
He stopped. ‘What?’
‘What is the question that’s stopping you getting to sleep?’
‘Oh! Why didn’t Tendro use his freeze spray to stop the megalorian from ripping off the chain-thingies that were keeping the tentacles from getting out of his mouth?’
‘Right.’ Connie nodded. ‘I didn’t spot that. Any ideas, Jessie?’
Wilf turned to me, hope burning in his eyes.
‘I’m going to be honest with you; I never made it past episode two.’
‘What?’ Wilf looked aghast. ‘But you have both entire seriesat your house! You could watch it any time you want.’
