I shook my head, disgusted. ‘It’s too late for that. Your face said enough. So here’s my first question: how long have you been in love with my husband?’
Bridget’s chin dropped to the floor. She closed her eyes. ‘How long have I loved him, or how long have I realised that I do?’
I didn’t reply. I wasn’t the one needing to expand here. She opened her eyes again, her gaze flitting everywhere but at me. ‘I guess I’ve always loved him. I just didn’t realise in what way.’
‘Did you know when we got married?’
‘No!’ She finally looked at me, her face aghast enough for me to believe her. ‘No. Of course not! If I’m honest I only really knew when I saw you this morning.’
I flipped my mind back a few hours. ‘When you saw us kissing?’
She nodded, the tears flowing freely now. ‘I know. I know it’s hideous.I’mhideous. I hate myself. If I could undo all of it, any of it, I would.’
‘Which bits?’ My voice cracked, with rage, resentment, desolation. ‘Would you undo me signing up to the compatibility project? You choosing to plough on, regardless, even when you match me to the man you’ve been in love with forever? Promising me he’sperfectand will make thebest husband? Marrying me off to him, and somehow deluding yourself that it’ll all work out in the end? That I’ll never notice? That HE will never notice? How did you think this could end up any way other than a total, ugly, twisted mess? As if it wasn’t bad enough having the love of my life leave me for that bitch Helen Richards, now my own sister wants my husband! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? ITRUSTEDYOU!’ Bridget wasn’t the only one crying, now. ‘Itrustedyou. With the most important decision of my life.’
She reached out one hand, face stricken. I shrugged it off and shook my head, fiercely. This wasn’t going to be smoothed over with a sorry and a sisterly hug.
‘I’m so, so, sorry. You have to know how sorry I am. I don’twantto feel like this! I didn’t even know that I did!’
‘You didn’t think to stop and make damn sure before you paired us off?’
She said nothing, pressing her hands up against her face to contain her sobs. I’d never once seen my baby sister upset and not provided comfort. I knew I could be the bigger woman here, offer a thread of hope that I would try to one day understand. Sisters before mister.
Screw that.
‘You can undo one part of this. There’s still time to do the right thing by one person, at least.’ I wiped the tears from my face, the pain solidifying into cold, hard anger. Bridget stilled from behind her hands, listening. ‘You need to call off the wedding.’
Her hands fell away, mouth dropping open. ‘No, Emma, no. I couldn’t do that to him. Not two weeks before… you of all people know what that would do to him…’
‘It’ll crush him. But I can promise that discovering your fiancé is in love with someone else hurts a hell of a lot less than discovering your husband or wife is. If you care at all about me, or Paolo, then you need to tell him. Tomorrow. Tonight! I don’t care how hard it is or how much courage it takes. Time to finally grow up, Young One.’
‘Okay! I’ll talk to him. I know I have to break it off. But you can’t tell Cooper, Emma. He’s done nothing wrong. Please don’t tell him. It’d only make everything worse.’
‘Don’t you dare try to tell me what I can say to my husband. And really, you think that there’s any way that this could be worse?’
With that, I turned and walked away, leaving my heart a splattered mess on the yard behind me, a gaping, agonising wound where it had used to be.
* * *
I didn’t know what felt worse or whose betrayal hurt more. I still hadn’t concrete confirmation from Cooper about how he felt, or what he wanted to do. While he could potentially brush off a simple gesture as meaningless, having seen it, I knew what it meant. The thought of how he might react, what he would feel when he found out Bridget had ended things with Paolo, made me want to throw up. Had she told him already?
Was Cooper and Bridget both missing church just a coincidence?
Were they together, now? Packing a bag? Tucking each other’s hair behind their ears?
The messages of encouragement and sympathy started pinging through to the app. If I read any more of Annie and Bridget arguing about whether Annie was coming round or Bridget was fine by herself for now, thanks, I would definitely vomit.
I was about to turn my phone off when Sofia messaged me separately:
Hey, are you ok? Or are you with B?
While I was thinking how to reply, she followed it up:
Or is there another reason you haven’t replied to her message? If you need to talk I’m free from 4
I blinked back a fresh rush of tears.
Thanks Sis. I’ll see you then xx
