‘Get lost! Getting pregnant was the excuse, not the reason. I’d hardly let that happen with a man I wasn’t in it for life with! Give me some credit!’
‘Well, that’s by the by – you were pregnant, Annie would never have married Greg so soon if she hadn’t needed the visa. And we all know Sofia got married at twenty-one after her three-month engagement because she couldn’t wait any longer to have sex, and her preacher man wasn’t putting out without a ring on it.’
‘Excuse me!’ Sofia tried to look offended, but she couldn’t hide her enormous grin. ‘I wasn’t putting out, as you so nicely put it, either! Waiting was a joint decision!’
‘Either way, only Bridget is getting married for normal reasons. And I tried the normal route. Had the amazing proposal from the love of my life, who I’d known forever, and after promising me everything he left me with nothing. So, none of you can judge me.’
‘We aren’t judging you,’ Orla said, taking an angry swig of her drink.
‘What’s the worst that can happen, if Bridge finds me someone with integrity and morals and the same values and life goals as me? How can it be worse than sitting at home on a Saturday night, with a meal for one, a glass of wine that should probably be for two, watching brain-shrivelling TV with no one to moan about it with or laugh at my jokes? I want someone who’ll notice if I wear a stunning dress or get my hair done.’
‘Babe, don’t get married then!’ Orla laughed. ‘“What’s the worst that can happen?” Piles of disgusting boxers left on the floor, never getting a decent night’s sleep because of having to lie next to a snoring rhinoceros. Arguing about stupid crap like whose turn it is to empty the bin.
‘Feeling alone because you’re on your own is one thing. Feeling lonely when there’s a man who promised to cherish and honour you sat on the other sofa, crisp crumbs on his old T-shirt, eyes glued to the rugby, completely ignoring your existence, let alone your new hairdo, that’s lonely.’
‘Orla, are you and Sam doing okay? Do you want Moses to take him out for another drink and a “wise up” chat, like last time?’ Sofia asked, frowning.
‘Maybe. I dunno. I’ll think about it. Right now, we’re trying to save Em from making the biggest mistake of her life.’
‘But what if it isn’t?’ I said. ‘What if this feels right?’
‘A lot of people get married because it feels right, and find themselves divorced.’
‘Yes, when the feelings are based on lust and romance. I’ve made a rational decision to commit myself to someone who’ll be a good match for me. None of those people have the benefit of an amazing neuroscientist setting them up.’
‘Emma, I told you the test is a load of crap.’ Bridget looked stricken. I was ignoring her. I’d felt like that, too, when I first had the idea. But once I’d had time to get used to it, I’d realised it solved everything.
‘Well, either way, I trust you to find me a good match.’
‘Have you been listening? You’d find a better pool of potential matches on Tinder.’
‘You said the men weren’t that bad!’
‘I’m not marrying my sister to a man who isn’t that bad!’
‘Then don’t match me!’ I sighed, putting down my drink. ‘Look. I promise that if you can’t find me a brilliant husband, one that you think I could want to marry if I met him the normal way, like through work or at a party or on Tinder, I won’t do it.’
Bridget sat back, breathing out a giant sigh of relief. ‘Well, that’s fine, then. Because the statistical probability of that happening is zero.’
‘But if someone like thatdoesapply, and we end up being the most compatible pair, you have to support me in going through with it.’
‘Deal.’
There was a lull in conversation while we all had another drink, and I suspect everyone else tried to pretend that conversation had never happened.
‘Have you prayed about it?’ Sofia asked, breaking the silence.
‘Of course! I’ve been praying for this since Jake married Helen Richards.’
‘What if Bridget finds someone who’s right on paper, but you don’t find him attractive?’
‘Maybe I’ll find his heart attractive, his brain. Looks fade, character lasts.’
‘Yes, but you can’t blame us for wanting our sister to have a guy who takes her breath away,’ Sofia continued.
‘Who she feels blessed to call her partner,’ Bridget said, enjoying the conversation now that she was sure it was all purely theoretical.
‘Who she can’t wait to get home to at the end of the day,’ Orla said, frowning as she added, ‘while still maintaining a reasonable life of her own, and also enjoying time with her friends, sisters, and by herself.’
