‘You can’t not come!’ Mel protested. ‘All the Larks’ll be there, and their fellas – or women or whatever. I hardly ever have a night out.’
‘Which is one reason why I won’t come. I’ll panic, and cause a scene and spoil somebody’s night when they end up trying to take care of me.’
‘Maybe our night will be spoiled by you not being there in the first place,’ Dani threw back at me, patting my hand to counteract her tone. ‘Unlike Mel, I go out all the time, so if you start to feel overanxious, I’ll whizz you home and be back at the party before anyone’s missed me. Any other reasons not to come? No? Great, Derek and I will pick you up at seven-thirty.’
‘I feel uncomfortable leaving Joey here alone all evening. He’s not done that before.’
‘You’ve got a phone, haven’t you?’
Right on cue, Joey clattered down the stairs and into the kitchen. ‘Oh, hey, Mum. Hi, Mum’s friends. Dad asked if I want to go to the cinema this evening. Maybe get a burger or something before. I’ll be back at ten-thirty. Can I go?’
‘Well, that’s perfect, then in’t it?’ Mel beamed. ‘You can stay out ’til ten, Amy.’
‘Are you going out?’ Joey asked, a spark of hope in his eyes.
‘I’m thinking about it,’ I said.
‘Where?’
‘The Lark’s Christmas bash,’ Dani replied. ‘Only the best night out of the year. She’s goingoutout.’
‘Since when was the Cup and Saucer out out?’ Mel asked, bewildered.
‘Since we’ll be there.’
Mel and Dani vigorously pooh-poohed my final excuse, insisting I must be able to findsomethingto wear,even if it was just a nice pair of jeans and a shirt. In the end, they forced their way upstairs and had a good riffle through my wardrobe, Dani triumphantly brandishing the one half-decent item in there.
‘What about this? It’s lovely, and looks new.’
I willed, with every muscle in my body, not to blush. ‘I wore that to the wine and cheese evening.’
There was a half-second beat of silence while she processed my point. ‘He won’t notice it’s the same dress. But I understand, a woman has her pride. No worries, this is my size.’ She eyed me up and down. ‘I’ll pick you up at seven-twenty, with a few options for you to try. Right, we’d better get you back to your sweet little Christmas angels, Mel.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ I mumbled to a pair of backs clattering down the stairs and straight out the front door.
There was no way I was going to that party.
* * *
‘There’s no way you’re not coming to the party,’ Nathan told me, at six that evening, leaning against my front door frame in his running gear.
‘Are you going to drag me there like this?’ I retorted, releasing a smidgen of the tension that had been spreading through every nerve and sinew as the clock ticked closer to party time. I’d expected Dani to ignore my cowardly, cancelling text, deliberately changing into my pyjamas so that when she turned up, she’d realise I was serious. I’d also planned on not answering the front door. Although that hadn’t stopped her in the past, picking the lock would at least give me enough time to gather my defences.
So, when I opened the door, the sight of Nathan, eyes crinkled beneath his beanie hat, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, was the visual equivalent of a giant hug after a day fraught with frittering.
Then I mistakenly allowed an image of him taking me to the party to pop into my head, releasing a burst of warm, sparkly, Christmas feelings that were not helpful.
Get a grip, Amy,my anxiety cackled softly.
Nathan held up a carrier bag. ‘From Dani.’
‘I can’t do it.’ I couldn’t seem to stop shaking my head. ‘See? I’m already panicking.’
‘Amy, two weeks ago you made it all the way to the country club. This is just the café. With all the people who are in the café every time you go.’
‘I haven’t been out since then,’ I confessed. ‘Joey’s at the cinema with Sean and I’m not in a fit state…’
Nathan ducked to meet my eyes, waiting until my bobble-head slowed down enough to lock onto his gaze. Oh my. Could we just stay here all night instead? Those grey depths looked like solid rock, hewn from the side of some ancient mountain. Strong enough to hold me steady when the rest of the world was bucking like a rodeo.
