‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you had company. I’ll come back another time.’
Of course she didn’t realise. Apart from Joey’s friends and the odd repair man, she’d been the only company in this house since I’d moved in. Until I joined the Larks.
‘No, it’s fine.’ I tried to ignore the pulse pecking at the inside of my skull. ‘We can talk in the garden.’
‘What?’ Cee-Cee glanced out the window at the sunshine, probably wondering what alternate reality she’d stepped into.
‘Don’t be daft, we’re moving.’ Bronwyn gave Marjory and Dani a pointed look, gently taking her mum’s hand.
Two seconds later, they had joined Mel and the kids in the living room. My kitchen suddenly seemed very empty.
Cee-Cee lowered herself onto one of the chairs, wincing. ‘You don’t need to look at me like that. It’s just arthritis.’
Are the side effects of arthritis lank, unkempt hair and giant eye bags? Does it cause extreme weight loss and sagging shoulders where a curtain rod used to be? A surge of compassion welled up in my throat as I took a seat beside her, rendering me speechless.
‘I see you’ve been busy.’Replacing me.
I poured her a tea from the pot and sat down. ‘It’s Redbush.’ Because, yes, I had wondered if a certain non-normal-tea drinker might pop in after finishing work to see how things were going. ‘I joined a running club. We’re starting a campaign to raise money for a disabled hoist at the new Greasby pool.’
‘Right.’
We sat there for a moment in awkward silence.
‘How do you know Marjory?’ I asked.
‘Mexico ’68. We became… very good friends.’What does that mean??
‘You competed at the Olympics?’And never told me!?
For a startling moment, I realised how little I actually knew about Cee-Cee’s past. She had always been Coach Coleman to me. But she was also a woman, had been a girl before then, with hopes and dreams and hobbies and homework. My guilt jumped up a gear as I realised that the context of our relationship meant that I’d always thought of Cee-Cee in terms of how she related to me, and then Joey. I had considered her my closest friend for thirteen years, and I didn’t even know her real first name.My illness had reduced me to a horribly self-obsessed person. A terrible friend. If Cee-Cee had been a mother to me, she had endured a spoilt brat for a daughter.
Before I could begin to convey any of this, Cee-Cee shook her head, impatiently. ‘She ran the eighteen hundred metres. I was with the coaching team. Things were more… flexible then.’
‘Maybe you could tell me about it sometime.’
She scoffed at that. ‘No point dredging up the past.’
‘I think Marjory might do some dredging. She knows who I am.’
‘Don’t the rest of them?’
‘They only know me as Amy.’
‘And now you’re spearheading a campaign for the Amelia Piper Swimming Centre.’ Something akin to a smile flitted across Cee-Cee’s face. ‘How do you expect that will turn out?’
‘I’ll tell them before the opening. Once I’ve regained enough self-respect that admitting it won’t make them pity where I’ve ended up.’
She nodded. ‘You think that’s likely?’
I shrugged.
‘Maybe you should aim for enough self-respect that you won’t care what they think.’
We both drank some more tea, listening to the lively buzz of chatter from the living room.
‘Was there a reason you came over?’ I cringed as I asked, still finding confronting her hugely difficult.
‘Heard Sean had turned up. Thought you might need some moral support.’
