‘Of a perfectly respectable nature, well within the policy! And in return, she’s… helping me to overcome a few of my own…’
‘Policies?’ Bronwyn couldn’t help laughing, high-fiving the woman next to her at the same time.
‘Issues,’ Nathan choked out.
‘Ah, Nathan, I’ll help you with your issues,’ someone shouted from the shadows. ‘You can call on me anytime.’
As the catcalls continued, I slunk off to one side, glancing over to see Nathan clenching his jaw, eyes on the ground, hands firmly planted on his hips.
‘That’s harassment in the workplace,’ Dani pronounced, as she swung past him. ‘You should give me a call sometime, I’ll sort this lot out. For a reasonable fee.’
‘A reasonable fee?’ Nathan shot back, eyes dancing in the darkness. ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all morning. Right. Time to stop gabbing and get moving. And, Amy, I’ll see you tomorrow night after Joey’s training. Now, stretch up…’
* * *
Inevitably, it somehow happened to be both the longest day while at the same time whizzing towards five-thirty like a speeding space-shuttle. I faffed about on a new project, made a half-hearted attempt at some cleaning, flopped on my back under the duvet, fretted, worried, agonised and stayed as far away from external doors and windows as possible.
Of course, when Joey came home from school it only got worse. We flitted around the house like mosquitoes in a heatwave, and I don’t think I was the only one who changed my outfit more than once before we headed out.
‘Is it weird, seeing him?’ Joey asked as we walked towards the square.
‘Very,’ I replied, voice muffled from behind my scarf. ‘He’s different in some ways – obviously he looks older. But his voice and his mannerisms haven’t changed at all.’
‘Do you hate him?’
‘No.’ And I wasn’t lying, either. ‘I do feel angry, and have some painful memories about what happened. But he didn’t deliberately try to hurt me, and he’s the one who missed out.’
‘I can’t help trying to imagine what it would have been like if he’d not gone, and I’d grown up with a mum and dad around. Is that okay?’
I took a few strides before answering. ‘Yes, of course it’s okay. But we wouldn’t have stayed together even if he hadn’t gone to America.’
‘He’d still have been around to do stuff with me. Take me on holiday and things.’
Come on now, woman. Don’t start crying before you’ve even got there.
We waited for a car to pass before crossing the road onto the square.
‘But there’s no point wondering what might have happened, is there? Because it didn’t, and we can’t change it. And if he’s the kind of dad who left before I was born, it might not have been that great having him around anyway. At least now I’m old enough to figure out for myself if he’s worth bothering with or not.’
Oh, Joey.
I hoped so.
* * *
Sean was waiting at a corner table. He jumped up when he saw us come in, brushing his hands against a black pair of jeans.
Joey walked right up and held out his hand.
‘I’m Joey. It’s good to meet you.’
Sean reached out and tentatively shook it, unable to take his eyes off Joey’s face. ‘It’sgreatto meet you,’ he said. ‘I’ve looked forward to this for a long time.’
Joey nodded, pulling out a chair and sitting down. I joined him facing Sean, although it was already clear that my role in this meeting would be that of silent partner.
The next hour passed in a blur. I gripped my coffee mug, made sure my lungs re-inflated every few seconds and focused on the sturdiness of the oak table in front of me. Joey had that confidence in talking to adults common in only children and, after a hesitant start, was soon making conversation with Sean about school, his various sports clubs, what computer games he played, films he liked. He also quizzed Sean about his life in Colorado, and I managed to absorb enough to learn that he had been engaged in his late twenties, had no children and lived in what sounded like an excessively large ranch-type house for one person.
And then came the question we’d all been waiting for:
