Lisa hesitated. She knew full well I was the crazy lady who never left the house. ‘No, no, it’s fine. There are more than enough people looking here. You’d better stay there, in case he turns up at home.’
‘Right.’
‘I’ll keep you posted. I’m sure he’ll appear in a minute and we’ll feel like right wallies for worrying. I mean, that dodgy car was at Brooksby school.’
Lisa, God bless her, called me back every ten minutes. However, the initial surge of hope every time the phone rang was swiftly replaced with increasing anguish. The school grounds had been searched top to bottom. On the third call, having recovered my voice, I asked to speak to Ben.
‘Hey, Ben. Did Joey seem okay today? I mean, had anything happened that might have bothered or upset him? Did he do okay in his events?’
‘Yeah.’ Ben’s voice was huskier than last time he’d been round for dinner. I couldn’t tell if it was his age or anxiety. ‘The teachers already asked me. But he was just usual, you know? He was laughing when we came in to get changed and he said he’d see me in a bit when he left.’
‘You’re sure? You know it’s really important to be absolutely truthful. If there’s anything, even the tiniest thing, it might help us find him. If Joey’s in trouble, or… or…’
‘Nah, Joey’s never in trouble. There’s nothing, honest.’
By five forty-five, I started to consider if something genuinely terrible had happened. Instead of panicking me further, I fell into a surreal state of numbness, mentally listing the possible scenarios.
Joey was strong, nearly six foot now. And loud. Surely someone would have heard him if that man had tried to take him? Seen him struggle?
It goes without saying that being stuck at home had never felt as hideous as watching the minutes tick by between Lisa’s updates. How could I be here, pacing up and down my living room and leave other people to find my son? People who liked Joey, some who even cared about him, but none who loved him enough to quite happily rip out her own heart if it meant he was okay.
Yet not enough to open a door and start looking for him yourself.
And that brutal thought was enough to try calling the only other person who felt anything close to my pathetic, impotent love. The one who had rocked him to sleep in the middle of the night when I was too exhausted to walk straight any more. Who had stood by my side as we waved him off into the classroom his first day of school. Who had introduced him to the love of his life in the Brooksby pool, before he could walk.
I gripped my phone and dialled Cee-Cee’s number.
‘What is the point of people having phones if NO ONE EFFING ANSWERS THEM?! This is the ONE TIME you decide NOT to be there when I need you!’ I shouted, a minute later, hurling the phone across the room where it ricocheted off the wall. ‘SHIT!’ I scrabbled across and scooped the different pieces back together. If I’d killed the phone, then Joey, Lisa, the hospital, the kidnapper making ransom demands, no one could get in touch with me.
As I pressed the battery compartment back into place and switched it on, Lisa called again.
‘Yes?’ I gabbled, for the seventh time.
‘Nothing yet. Amy, do you think it’s time we contacted the police?’
The words hung between us, a huge chasm straddling ‘oops, of course it was nothing to worry about, Joey you little monkey you scared us all half to death’ to ‘this is real, my son has been missing for nearly an hour and no one can find him. Least of all me, because I haven’t made it past my front door in over two years’.
* * *
I was passing on a description to the very patient, sombre-voiced woman at the local police station when the door opened and Joey sauntered in.
With Cee-Cee right behind him.
Good job I was half blind with shock and rage, because with a slightly better aim, the vase I’d thrown would have made a serious dent in her head. I did have naturally strong shoulders after all. Joey, thankfully, ducked.
‘What the hell?’ he squeaked, and the look of confusion and fear on his face was enough to clear the black mist, leaving an eerie calm.
‘Joey, please go upstairs.’
‘What’s going on?’
‘I’ll talk to you soon.’
I waited until his bedroom door had slammed shut before addressing Cee-Cee, my voice trembling.
‘I’ve just been on the phone to the police. The whole school has been hunting for an hour. Ben’s mum has been out of her mind—’
‘What? What’s happened?’
