Five kilometres in, it felt as though the sun’s rays had soldered Dani’s spare helmet to my head. My legs were trembling with fatigue, and where my backside met the seat, I expected to find a bloody, pulpy mess if I ever managed to haul myself off.
Exhaustion, agony, pushing myself way beyond any reasonable limits. I was loving it.
Audrey and Mel, who’d soon realised that riding a bike up a hill was a lot harder than zipping down it, not so much.
I tried gasping out a few pep talks and motivational clichés, but it is hard to get motivated when you last saw any of your competitors fifteen minutes ago.
And then, whizzing over the crest of the hill came Dani, Selena right behind her on a tandem.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve finished and then come all this way back again,’ Mel groaned, coming to a stop. ‘I don’t want to know.’
‘Come on, stop moaning and hop on,’ Dani replied.
‘Hop on where?’
‘Didn’t you ever ride on the handlebars when you were a kid?’
Mel looked stricken. ‘I’m not a kid any more, Dani. I don’t think my bum will fit on there.’
‘Don’t be an idiot. And hurry up – one of the council guys has fallen off at 7K. His bike’s a wreck and the rest of the team don’t even know because they’ve gone off ahead and left him. If we put our backs into it, we can beat him.’
‘We might not be last!’ Mel shrieked, ditching her bike at the side of the road and scrambling over to Dani’s.
Meanwhile, Audrey was plodding on ahead of us, head down, pretending to be oblivious to Selena pedalling alongside, repeatedly entreating her to get on the tandem.
I stretched out my shoulders, gritted my teeth, clenched what remained of my buttocks and caught up with them. ‘Come on, Audrey, you haven’t trained for the cycling leg, there’s no shame in teaming up with someone else.’
‘There’s plenty of shame in having my mum bail me out.’
‘No one in any of the other teams has swam and cycled.’
‘All the Larks have,’ Audrey wheezed, doggedly still going.
‘And Mel is on Dani’s handlebars.’
‘Why do you keep butting in and trying to help me?’ Audrey growled, bike wobbling alarmingly as she twisted her head towards Selena.
‘Audrey, you’re my daughter! I’d die for you! With a smile on my face! Everybody needs help, why not accept it from someone who takes a gargantuan amount of pleasure in giving it to you? I know you can do this without me. I believe you can do anything you put your mind to. But I know you, I know your strengths and cycling is not one of them. Baking, shoulder massages and figuring out what I’ve bought you for Christmas, yes, you’re fabulous at all of those. You’re the best person I know at Pictionary. But most of all, you are smart. So use that giant brain of yours to realise that all I want is to share a fantastic moment with my daughter. Come on, darling, hop on and let’s not be last, together.’
Audrey pushed on for a few more paces. I wondered if one of those streaks running through the grime on her face wasn’t sweat, but a tear.
‘Only if I get to go in front.’
Selena jerked the tandem to a halt. ‘Well, what are you waiting for, then?’
‘Me, please!’ I yelled, throwing my rented bike into a bush beside Audrey’s. ‘Be waiting for me! I want to not be last together, too. And, more to the point, my backside just can’t take any more.’
‘Where the hell did you get this tandem anyway?’ Audrey grumbled as she clambered on.
‘One of the athletics club brought it.’
‘How did you persuade them to lend it to you?’
‘I’ll worry about that when they notice I’ve taken it.’
So, with me straddling the basket at the back, the last of the Larks pushed on through the remaining few kilometres. We spotted the council casualty a kilometre from the finish line, wheeling his buckled bike along the side of the road with an excruciating limp.
‘Eh, walking’s a disqualifiable offence!’ Mel catcalled as Dani pumped them past.
