Page 115 of How Not to Be A Loser


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‘Jealous?’ Dani asked me, as we walked towards the main entrance.

‘I’m going to love cheering you on.’

Dani raised her eyebrows, in wry acknowledgement that I hadn’t actually answered the question.

Before I could admit that perhaps, just maybe, deep in some forgotten cranny of my brain, I felt a tiny flicker of envy at not being part of the triathlon team, a man bustled up.

‘Amelia, oh my days, what a relief, we’re ready to officially commence the proceedings and the crowd awaits their star!’ He held out one hand to shake mine, while using the other one to begin herding me in the direction I was already going. ‘Antonio Galanos. We’ve spoken on the phone.’

‘Yes, hi.’

‘For a moment there, I thought you might have done another runner! Ha ha!’

Dani, hurrying along on the other side of me, spurted out the mouthful of water she’d just swigged from her bottle.

‘I mean, I know we aren’t the Olympics or anything, but, well, round these parts a family fun fit day is almost as special. Right. If I could hand you over to my colleague, Janine, I’ll get the scissors.’

A while later, ribbon cut, half a dozen official photos, plus half a million unofficial selfies snapped, I was still hanging on in there. The overwhelmingly positive response of the crowd meant that I almost stopped expecting someone to sneer, or jeer, or ask me about the articles. I was ushered towards the pool, over to a special seat reserved in the spectators’ area, beside Tate’s wheelchair. The rest of the seats quickly filled up, with more people pressed in along the sides and in the aisles, in what I’m sure must have been a breach of health and safety regulations. Joey and Sean were seated towards the front, in amongst the Larks’ friends and families, causing another twinge of regret that I’d been such a big wimp, Joey wouldn’t get to see me race.

Ten minutes before the triathlon was due to start, I was asked to announce each team as they arrived – the swimmers still damp from their warm-up. The Larkabouts were the final team to enter.

‘Eh! This’ll be the only time we come in last today!’ Mel hollered, waving and giving a manic thumbs up to her watching family.

I’d been doing reasonably well so far, managing not to garble, remembering to smile, ignoring the odd snicker or whispered comment, maintaining a normal respiration rate, but when Nathan trooped in behind his team, in a blue tracksuit and tight white T-shirt, my heart did a triple backflip. He had his game face on… right until he spotted me.

‘No need to look so surprised,’ I mouthed as he walked past, trying and failing to frown.

He shook his head, eyes crinkling. ‘Pleased. Not surprised. I knew you’d be here.’

Well, if you’re so pleased to see me, where were you for the past two months?

How about he didn’t make contact because he’s pleased, in a strictly professional capacity, to have helped a client succeed in one of her goals?

Yeah. I guess that explained it.

‘Right,’ the manager of the swimming centre said, having taken the microphone from me, ‘can the swimming competitors please take their places. All other entrants must now move to the team viewing area to my left.’

There was a flurry of activity as most of the competitors moved off to the side, while the third who were going to swim took off their tracksuits and did some enthusiastic stretches, nearly knocking the manager and a few of their opponents into the water. Something not quite right was going on with the Larks, though. None of them had moved to the side, and all nine – ten of them, including Nathan, were now stripping off their blue and white tracksuits, revealing nine tiny swimsuits and one pair of appropriately sized shorts.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ I yelled, most improperly.

‘We’re the Larks!’ Dani called back. ‘We stick together no matter what.’

‘But you’ll lose!’ I screeched back. ‘Isobel can’t even swim!’

‘I’ve got armbandsanda float! I can manage a couple of lengths. Probably.’ She stuck out her chin and put her hands on her hips, no doubt aiming for defiant but slightly missing the mark due to the unicorn armbands.

‘We’ve got Nathan, he’ll make up for Isobel,’ Bronwyn said, gesturing her head at our coach.

Oh my goodness.

He resembled a Greek statue.

Was someone saying something, maybe about a race or something…? I seemed to have forgotten…

‘No Lark left behind!’ Marjory’s battle cry thankfully interrupted my lust-addled stupor. ‘We win together or we lose together. But we stick together when it counts!’

‘What, like on every training session when you disappear off into the distance?’ Selena snarked.