Stop Being a Loser Programme
Day Two Hundred and Eight (Still On Hold)
Joey had been back at school over a week. He had one more check-up in a few days, where the doctor expected to be giving the all-clear to resume gentle exercise.
I had completed my first project as Senior Bid Writer, and apart from a small piece of editing work, had nothing until a new project started the following Monday.
I had not left the house in nearly three weeks, apart from two quick trips to the supermarket and Joey’s medical appointments.
Mel and Dani had called in on me every few days, bringing breakfast each Saturday and turning up at inconvenient moments midweek with flowers, doughnuts or a punnet of fruit. They also brought campaign updates. Now only four thousand pounds shy of the original target, they were looking at potentially ending up with enough to fund an aquachair, or an extra poolside wheelchair as well. And, of course, they also provided training updates. Kommando Kim was doing a competent, if bone-breaking and wrath-inducing, job of clobbering them into shape for the big day. Dani, Isobel and Mystery Woman Two (otherwise known as Miranda, it turned out) had started cycling alongside the runners on Sundays.
They had also persisted with the same conversation, every time they’d called in:
‘Oh, and me and Selena are going swimmin’ whenever we can. Are you coming? You could give us some tips to improve our technique.’
‘When are you going? I might be busy.’
‘We’re goin’ whenever you’re not busy. Which seems to be most of the time.’
‘Let me know when you’re at the pool and I’ll see if I’m free.’
They weren’t fooled by my attempts at fobbing them off. ‘Please don’t make me go swimming with Selena without you.’
‘I said, I’ll try to make it. I do have a job and a recovering son to care for.’
Mel and Dani said nothing more, but I caught their worried glances. The grand opening of the Amelia Piper Swimming Centre was three weeks away. As much as I loved them, I began to dread the knock on the door. Being a recluse was a lot easier without friends to challenge and cajole you, making you feel guilty for soon-to-be broken promises and general life-failures.
And I couldn’t be with Mel and Dani without thinking about Nathan, like a big, superfit shadow lurking in the corner, crinkling his eyes at me. Okay, so maybe I sometimes thought about him anyway. I didn’t have that much to do now Joey was at school, or many other people to think about. But Mel and Dani talking about the Larks, making me stress about how I was going to let them all down and reminding me that at some point I was supposed to make a speech to a crowd of people who thought I had lost the plot years ago and only deteriorated since: that made me miss him even more.
So, here I was, heading out, into the open air, the actual street, to do something that however cringey, clearly beat the alternative.
I scuttled down Foxglove Lane old-school, pre-Programme style, and up to the huge house. Before I had time to run away, or pass out, I knocked on the door.
Audrey opened it, wearing a short skirt and a crop top that would rival my new swimsuit for lack of coverage. She beetled her newly shaped, pencil-assisted brows and pursed her lips.
‘Hi, Audrey, how are you?’
‘Fine. What do you want?’
Eugh. She didn’t look fine.
‘Can I come in for a couple of minutes? I want to talk to you about something.’
She hitched her top a millimetre higher up her exposed chest and scanned the road behind me. ‘Five minutes, ten tops.’
‘Thank you.’
Stepping aside to let me in, she took one last look outside before slamming the door behind us.
Audrey perched uncomfortably on a minimalist, leather armchair, while I sat on the matching sofa.
Given the time limit, I jumped straight in. ‘The triathlon is in three weeks.’
‘And?’ She shrugged, but it was a little too couldn’t-care-less.
‘I need you to take my place in the swimming race. Please.’
‘What?’ She wrinkled her nose in a mixture of surprise and derision.
