‘Sounds… painful.’
‘Yep.’ She stood up. ‘Want to see my new sample ofBotrytis?’
‘I’d love to, but I’d better say hi to your mum first.’
‘Okay. I’ll not open the airing cupboard door yet, then, because they grow best at warm temperatures.’ She clattered off, calling, ‘She’s in the kitchen trying to make it look as though we’re a nice, normal family.’
I found Ellen chopping broccoli, engulfed in a haze of delicious smells.
‘Jenny!’ She stopped to give me a hug. I tried not to react like an ironing-board, awkwardly reaching up my arms before realising the hug was over. ‘Did Will let you in?’
‘Sort of.’
She tutted. ‘Hamish?’
‘Yep.’
‘I don’t know why we bothered fitting that bolt. Those boys would make a crack team of jewel thieves. Once they want something, there’s no stopping them. And they haven’t stopped talking about you all day.’
‘Really?’
‘They’re four. A new woman in their life is big news.’
‘Have you told them I might be their nanny?’
She chucked the broccoli into a large pan. ‘I’m hoping there’s nomightabout it. But, no. That would produce further excitement. And three over-excited little boys at the dinner table are not going to encourage you to accept the job.’
She handed me a jug full of knives and forks. ‘Could you sort these?’
I began to lay the table, pondering whether to be honest. In this house, anything else seemed strange. ‘Just to be clear, I’m absolutely certain I want this job. I presumed this evening was about Will deciding whether to hire me.’
Ellen paused. ‘Jenny, Will trusts my judgement. And your character references were exceptional. I’d have considered bribery being involved if I didn’t know you were broke.’
I sent out a silent thank you to Claudia, Zara’s elderly housekeeper, who had adopted me as a sort of pet. And to Meg, for what she’d left out as much as what she’d said.
‘Right. If you summon the troops, I’ll dish up.’
I could do that – round up five children and a strange man I’d recently startled in his underwear. This was likeThe Apprentice. Only with superheroes and mould spores.
* * *
One near-impossible round of Hunt and Destroy, one microbiology lecture and one long conversation about hobbits later, the food was only slightly cold.
Billy pushed his plate of chicken pie away. ‘Yuck.
‘Billy,’ Will warned, with a look probably honed on thousands of school children.
‘Billy hates cold pie,’ Maddie told me.
‘Yes,’ Will agreed. ‘But it wouldn’t be cold if he’d come when Jenny called him. Would it, Billy?’
‘I don’t want cold pie. Only peg-nins eat cold food and I’m not a peg-nin, I’m a fire-robot. Cold food breaks my buttons.’
Ellen grinned. ‘What do you think, Jenny? Can fire-robots eat cold food?’
‘Um.’ I set down my water-glass, wondering if the boardroom interrogation had commenced, and how to stop it ending with, ‘You’re fired.’
‘Of course, I think this pie would be delicious at any temperature. And I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t a Magnetron Ultra-Inferno Incinerator-Hot Robot Two Thousand, Billy. I heard they were the fastest, hottest, best fire-robot ever made. But their buttonslovecold food. They eat it really fast, and are so hot it gets warm before it even reaches their stomach compartment.’
