It took the best part of two hours, but by the time Will returned home, Ellen had dinner in the oven, a reasonably clean kitchen, a nicely laid dining-room table and five children playing Uno with an utterly exhausted stand-in childminder.
I cycled home through the frosty evening with a tub of chicken casserole tucked into my rucksack. I’d have to eat it lukewarm, but, compared to another pot of rehydrated pasta, it’d taste like manna.
5
The following day, while I was washing my clothes in the bath, someone knocked on the back door. Quickly glancing in the mirror, I confirmed that, yes, I did have a bright red face, hair like a bottle-brush and my top – the only one not being washed – had a split shoulder seam, revealing my most ancient of bras. Shooting off a quick prayer that it wasn’t Mack (for pride’s sake, nothing more!) I wiped my hands on my pyjama bottoms (again, the only thing clean after yesterday’s hit and run) and scrambled down the stairs before whoever it was decided to let themselves into the Hoard. An unheard-of practice in my previous life. Here, in the land where everybody knew your name, shoe size and bowel habits, I wasn’t taking any chances.
And a good thing I did. The door had already begun to open by the time I grabbed hold of it, firmly placing myself between the visitor`s line of vision and the inside.
‘Jenny?’
‘Ellen!’ I hovered in the crack, not sure how to keep her on the doorstep without being rude. ‘What are you doing here? I mean. I didn`t mean it like that. It was a genuine question. You`re my first visitor.’
‘Are you free for a chat?’
‘I, well, I`m cleaning. Hence the old clothes.’ I laughed, awkwardly. ‘Shall we sit outside, away from the mess? We can use Mack`s picnic-table. Um, would you like a drink?’
‘Yes please. I have to pick the kids up in a bit, but tea would be lovely.’
‘I haven`t any milk. Or sugar.’
‘That`s fine.’ Ellen smiled. ‘I have five children. A hot drink supped undisturbed is my idea of heaven.’
‘Right. Back in a minute.’ I dodged through the tunnels up to the clean bedroom, where I now kept the kettle, hastily re-scrubbing out two of the mugs I`d previously sterilised, just in case something had crawled/landed/died in them since. Clattering back outside, I set them on the picnic bench.
‘Marvellous.’ Ellen closed her eyes and took a sip. ‘Do you always wear shoes with pyjamas?’
‘Until I`ve got rid of the mice, I wear shoes the whole time except for in the shower or bath. I mean bed. Well, bath or bed. Either. Both! I almost made it sound like I sleep in the bath! Hah!’
She smiled at me, unperturbed. ‘I wanted to say thanks again for helping me out yesterday.’
‘No problem. I enjoyed it. I hope dinner went okay.’
‘It was hideous, but no amount of preparation could have altered that. Anyway, I`m glad you enjoyed it. Because I`m wondering if you`d consider looking after the kids more often. Like, four days a week. For an hour in the morning, and two or three after school. Term-time only.’ She looked at me, expectantly.
‘Oh! Right. Well, I am quite busy with the cottage, but I don`t mind helping out I suppose, until I manage to get a job…’ Was that what happened here? You did someone a favour and they expect it four days a week, term time only? I mean, Ellen was really nice. Her kids were funny, and interesting, and I genuinely liked them. But they were also mentally and physically exhausting.
Ellen sat forward, her eyes wide. ‘I meantasa job, Jenny. What, did you think I was scrounging babysitting? I know Sarah isn`t paying, but I think with my troop you`ll be earning more than a chicken dinner.’
‘You want to give me a job? Taking care of your kids?’
‘Yes.’
‘But I don`t have any childcare qualifications or experience of how families work.’
Ellen frowned. ‘That`s not a problem. My gut tells me you`re a good woman. I need someone to work for me, and you need work. No-one, apart from me or Will, has got Jonno, Hamish and Billy in the shower before. Dawson told me you played three games of Uno, without anyone throwing the cards in anyone else`s face. Even I haven`t managed that. And if you`ll risk a hit-and-run to save my shopping, I`m guessing I can trust you with my kids.’
‘They were just behaving themselves for a stranger.’
‘No. Theylovedyou. Maddie can`t wait to tell you about the sample ofAureobasidiumshe found in a crack in the basement steps. And Billy thinks you would make an excellent general. Better than William Slim.’
I ducked my head. ‘Things got kind of awkward with my last employment. They won`t provide a good reference.’
‘What about from an earlier job?’
‘I haven`t had any other jobs.’
‘Okay, Jenny. If we`re being honest ... Most people find my kids too much. They find Maddie too strange, and Dawson too emotional. The triplets – well. One babysitter said it was like taking care of three piglets, only with fake swords and better aim. Children can tell if someone likes them or not. I`d rather have someone who likes them, than fancy qualifications and a great reference. If you explained why you left your job, would that help?’
