“I do,” I said sharply. “You. Mom. And maybe… Blyss.”
Why the hell did that just come out my mouth?
He smirked. “Wait—you like Blyss?”
“Nah, I’m not goin’ there with you.” I pulled the door open. “Get in your car. Go be with your girl.”
With my final words, I climbed into my car and pulled out the parking lot with heat crawling up the back of my neck and my emotions outta control. See, I wasn’t the emotional type. Never had been. But sitting at that damn table with my father and the woman he threw our family away for had pulled something outta me I didn’t even know I was still holding onto. Shit, I didn’teven recognize myself back there, just spitting truth like it was oxygen. So, to cover up my feelings, I did what I always did and found me a woman to entertain. I walked into the bar and spotted a chick sittin’ down, lookin’ like trouble in a tight dress. I didn’t hesitate. Plopped down on a stool with my million-dollar smile, like I owned the damn place. But even while she was laughing at my dumb jokes and pretending to be impressed, my mind kept slipping back to Blyss. I ain’t wanna think about her, but I did. Blyss ain’t chase me. She just showed up in her cardigans and her big ass glasses, looking like a damn walking contradiction, and somehow that stuck with me more than any of these loud-ass women ever did. And the worst part? I liked it. Matter fact, I liked her. More than I wanted to admit. For some reason, the damn truth just kept leaking out of my mouth like I didn’t have any control.
I stayed with shawty at the bar for a minute, nursed my drink, and pretended I was good. But truth be told, she was doin’ too much. Laughin’ loud, touchin’ too much, talkin’ ‘bout stuff I ain’t even asked her. And with my emotions still all over the place about my pops, I couldn’t fake it no more. I needed air. I needed peace. I needed to clear my head before I snapped on somebody who ain’t deserve it. And the only person, besides my brother, I felt comfortable talkin’ to with my suit still on and my guard halfway down was Blyss. So I hit her line. She ain’t ask no questions. Just met me at the park like she already knew I needed her.
“Hey, is everything okay?” she asked, giving me a hug.
“Not really.”
She didn’t let go right away, just held me there for a second like she could feel the storm in my chest.
“Okay,” she said gently. “Do you wanna talk about it? It might make you feel better.”
I sat down on the bench, elbows on my knees, staring out at nothin’.
“It’s my pops,” I muttered. I went off at lunch.”
“Oh, I see. What happened?” she asked.
“That man... he ain’t never been shit. And I ain’t sayin’ that to be petty. That’s just the truth.”
She sat next to me but didn’t say a word, just listened.
“He wasn’t no dad. Not to me, not to Jace. Just a man who showed up when he felt like it and disappeared when it mattered most. Only time he came around was to talk slick or tell me I wasn’t enough. Said I was too soft. Too sensitive. Like bein’ human made me weak.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, jaw tight. “And now? Now he wanna show up actin’ like he’s proud. Like he got a seat at the table he ain’t helped build.”
I looked over at her. “Truth is… every time I see that man, I feel like that lil boy again. The one who used to wait on the porch thinkin’ maybe this time he’d actually show up.”
I chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. “He never did.”
“I know he played baseball,” she said softly. “Maybe… the game kept him away.”
I laughed, bitter, no humor. “Man, fuck that.”
Blyss’ eyes widened, caught off guard, but I wasn’t done.
“He wasn’t too busy chasin’ no dream. He was too busy cheatin’. Dippin’ off with women that wasn’t my moms, throwin’ empty promises at kids that wasn’t his. Tellin’ them they could be somebody while he left me feelin’ like I was nobody.”
My throat tightened, but I kept talkin’. “I can’t stand him, Blyss. I hate how I still want him to be proud, even after all this time. That’s the part that messes me up the most.”
I turned to her, eyes dark. “He the reason I got commitment issues. The reason I keep people at a distance and ruin shit before it even start. ‘Cause deep down, I don’t trust nobody gon’stay. I was trained by his absence, taught by his silence. And now I’m out here tryna be a man, tryna run a business, tryna figure out my heart, and all I got is his damn shadow followin’ me.”
She gave a small smile, but it wasn’t pity. “You sound human. I understand,” she said. “My parents died when I was in seventh grade. My dad had a heart attack at work, and my mom rushed to be with him. On the way to the hospital, she crashed. She died at the scene, and my father, he passed a few hours later.”
She looked down, fidgeting with her fingers. “I ended up with my aunt and uncle. Tuesday’s parents. They were good people, real good. Gave us everything. Sent us to the best schools. Bought us clothes, took us on trips. But it never filled that hole. I still missed my parents. I still wanted more time.”
I watched her as she spoke, feeling every word settle under my skin.
“Damn,” I whispered. “That’s… heavy.”
She nodded. “It was. It still is.”
