At Roman and Beck’s house, I’m safe.
I climb from bed slowly, following the sound of their soft voices and happy laughter.
It sounds like they’re in the kitchen, and I make my way in that direction, stopping when I get close.
They’re sweet to each other. I’ve never seen that before. Not up close. Beck always calls Roman beautiful, and Roman calls Beck baby. They look at each other with love and not hate. It’s… safe. It feels safe. But it’s also scary.
I peek around the corner, my heart thumping when I see that Roman has his arm around Beck’s waist, and they’re kissing. I mean, it makes sense. Theydidjust get married. I feel like I should have gone with Lydia and Danny last night. I’m sure they would have been safe too. I should have given them privacy. They deserve that. They deserve better than me. I don’t know why they even want me. I’m nothing. I’m nobody. They deserve so much better than—
“Eli!” I jump out of my skin at Roman’s voice, guilt rising up my throat that I was just standing here gawking at them. “Good morning. Did you sleep okay? Come on.” He waves a hand at me, gesturing for me to come into the kitchen. “Here. Sit,” he says, stepping away from Beck long enough to pull out a bar stool for me at the island.
I do as he asks, coming into the kitchen and sitting down.
Beck leans against the counter, smiling at me like I’m something worth smiling at. “Do you want breakfast? I haven’t cooked anything yet, but I can get something going?”
I blink at him, not able to form words for a few long moments. Beck’s smile doesn’t waver, and the kindness in his eyes makes me get choked up. “What’s wrong?” he asks, worry filling his face.
I shake my head. “Nothing. I just… I feel bad that I didn’t stay somewhere else last night.”
They share a look before looking back to me. “Why would you feel bad for that, Eli?” Roman asks, his voice cautious and low.
How do I tell them that I don’t belong here? That they’re too happy and bright, and I’ll ruin them and their happy new marriage, just like I did my parents’? “It’s—wouldn’t you rather be alone?”
“Of course not,” Roman says at the same time Beck says, “No. We want you here.”
I have a hard time believing that. Why? Surely they would have wanted a different wedding night than coming home with some kid—than having their morning interrupted with that kid lurking in their hallway. “But you justgot married,” I whisper, ashamed that I didn’t go home with Lydia all over again.
Roman laughs. “We did. And you were such a special part of that. And we’re so happy you’re here with us now. We were actually talking about if we should go wake you up.”
“What? Why?”
Beck glances at Roman, love and happiness pouring from his eyes, and when he looks back at me, it doesn’t leave. “So we could make breakfast together as a family.”
As a family.Those words sink deep down inside me, making my heart thud in my chest. I like that idea. What would be the harm? It wouldn’t be the worst thing to take what I can get, while I can get it. One day, they’ll wake up and realize they don’t want me. Until then, though, I should take every bit of their kindness I can get. Eventually, they’ll realize I’m not worth it. I nod. “Okay, yeah. Let’s make breakfast.”
Their matching beaming smiles make a flicker of warmth burn through me, and when Beck steps around the counter and holds his arms open to me, I can’t resist leaning into his gentle embrace.
I hope they really mean it. I hope they really want to keep me.
Four Years Later
Beck
“Eli Hart.”
I grab Roman’s hand as Eli walks across the stage in his cap and gown. I’m a teary-eyed mess. Which is probably to be expected. I can’t believe Eli just graduated from high school. There’s a sniffle from my left, and I glance over at Roman just in time to see him swipe at his eyes.
I grin to myself. At least I’m not the only one.
Eli shakes the hands of everyone on stage, and when he grabs his diploma, he turns to the crowd. He finds us instantly, and when he does, he grins—a huge ear-to-ear smile that lights up his entire face.
I hear a muffled sob, and I turn to my right to find Holden covering his mouth. I nudge him, chuckling to myself. “You doing okay there, CT?”
“Shut up, Beckett,” Holden says, nudging me back. “Like you’re doing any better.”
Julian’s deep rumble of laughter echoes from the other side of Holden.
When the graduation ceremony is over, we all stand and walk off to the edge of the gymnasium, waiting for Eli to make his way back around to us.
