Roman and Lydia make their way down, and he’s already got tears in his eyes and Lydia is crying and Beck issniffling and I really can’t take this. He looks so happy. So fucking happy. Sometimes, I can’t believe this is our lives. I can’t believe the nineteen-year-old boy I used to beg to go home to his lost love is now walking down the aisle toward him. I can’t believe that I get to be here to witness it. I know how hard those years were for Roman—I saw them firsthand. Saw how they broke him and tore his heart apart. This feels like he’s finally home. Like nothing will ever keep them apart again. I wasn’t expecting it to make me so emotional, and that was a major oversight on my part. I blow out a deep breath, trying to keep myself under control. It’s embarrassing to cry before they even say their vows. I chance a look at Beck. He’s got that same smile on his face, but he’s also got tears pouring down his cheeks. Looking was a mistake.
Ro and Lydia come to a stop in front of Beck, and after she hugs them and gives them both kisses on their cheeks, she sits down beside Danny.
In true Ro and Beck fashion, they don’t even wait for the officiant to do his thing. Beck wraps Roman up in his arms, whispering something to him that no one else can hear. Ro lets out a little laugh, nodding along.
I clear my throat to get their attention, and they both step back, taking their places under the arch.
Everyone is so still and quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Even my wild child is standing silently between Eli and me.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join two souls together in marriage.”
I drown out his voice as I watch Roman and Beck. Their hands are clasped together so tightly I’m surprised either of them have blood flow, wearing matching smiles, and shedding matching tears. It has nothing on Beck’s eyes. I can’t quite see Roman’s from my angle, but I don’t need to. I can see the love he’s radiating reflected in Beck’s eyes. The eyes he currently has locked on Ro like he’s his sole reason for existence, like the world starts and stops with him. And in some ways, for these two, I think that really is the case.
I don’t dare look at Julian. If I do, it’s over for me.
“You prepared your own vows?” the officiant asks, and Beck nods. “Beck, would you like to start?”
He nods again, his throat bobbing heavily as he tries to swallow down his obvious emotion. Reaching into the pocket of his tux, he pulls out a sheet of paper, unfolding it slowly. I look at it for a second, and absolutely fucking lose it. So much for not crying. I choke back a burning sob, my throat physically aching with the effort it takes. Judging by Roman’s sharp intake of breath and the trembling in his body, he’s seeing the same thing I am.
On the back of the sheet of paper Beck’s written his vows on, is a drawing. An onlooker’s view of Beck kneeling in front of Roman, holding a ring in the air. I’ve seen many of Beck’s drawings, and none—not a single one of them—has been as intricate as this. It looks like it took him days to complete. Weeks, even. It’s so detailed, I feel like I could almost reach out and touch the hair and feel the texture. He drew a photo of himself proposing to Roman on the back of his wedding vows. My throat damn near closes up. I’m not built for this.
Beck clears his throat, and looks down at his vows. Then clears his throat again.
The hand holding the paper shakes so badly it’s a miracle he’s even keeping his grip on it.
“I, uh—I’m not sure how to start.” His voice is already wrecked, and he stops talking for a few seconds, his face twisting with his emotions. “I tried so many times to put it into words, you know?”
He raises his eyes, looking at Roman again. Roman’s breath catches, his shoulders hitching. “I’m not sure there evenarewords to describe the love I have for you.”
Beck sniffles, using the hand he’s holding his vows in to wipe shakily at his face. It doesn’t help. More tears fall from his eyes the second he pulls his hand away. “But I’m going to try if that’s alright with you.”
Roman nods slightly.
For a few seconds, Beck doesn’t say anything. He just stares at Ro and Ro stares at him. Finally, he inhales a shaky breath. “I’ve loved you longer than I haven’t. From the—” His voice cuts off abruptly before he lets out a little wet laugh. “God, beautiful. Why did we want to write our own vows? So stupid of us.”
Roman chuckles, but it ends on a little sob. Beck blows out a breath, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again. “From the first time I saw you when I was fourteen years old, I knew you were special. I could—I could barely contain myself the first time I saw that sweet blush. The first time you locked those pretty eyes on mine.”
Oh God. Beck stops and swallows a couple more times, his chest rising and falling quickly. “I—Well, I was gone. From day one.”
A titter of laughter echoes through the crowd and Beck smiles, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Ro. Beck’s face turns more serious. Solemn. “And then I—then Ilostyou.”
The pain in his voice stops my heart. I’ve heard Ro’s pain. Seen it. I’ve never, ever heard Beck sound like that. “I lost you, beautiful. And—” He stops, covering his face with his hand while his shoulders rise and fall with his rapid breaths. When he pulls his hand away, more tears arelining his face. “And I think—I think I lostmyselfa little too.”
Ro’s hand comes up to cover his mouth, and the sound of his muffled sob makes my heart clench. Beck stops, pulling Roman in close for a second, closing his eyes and nuzzling Roman’s throat. When they’re both a little calmer, Beck steps back and clears his throat. “But then you came back. Little by little, you stitched us back together. You stitchedmeback together. You brought joy and happiness back to me. You brought love back to me. You—made me feel like I was a person again. Not just an empty shell floating through the world.”
Roman sniffles again, swallowing another sob. “You are my reason for living. The reason breathing is easy. You are the entirety of my heart.”
Roman nods, his body almost vibrating from how hard he’s shaking.
“I promise I will love you, protect you, and cherish you for the rest of our lives. I will do everything I can to bring you joy and to make you happy. I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know how loved and special and precious you are to me.”
Roman’s entire body sways toward Beck, and for a second, I worry he’s going to fall straight over, but he course corrects at the last second and makes it upright again. Beckuses the hand he’s gripping his vows in to brush the back’s of his knuckles over Roman’s cheek, and the tender touch has more tears streaming down my face. I’d be surprised if a single person in here was dry-eyed.
“That’s all,” Beck whispers, his voice shaky. “That’s all I’ve got. I love you.”
Roman laughs, but it’s wet and full of tears, and I swear I’m going to beat them both for making me cry like this. “That’s all?” Roman chokes out. “Completely decimates my heart and has the audacity to say, ‘That’s all.’”
There’s more laughter from the attendees, and it even draws a chuckle out of the officiant.
