She’s pleading with my dad…
I’m not sure about what.
Then she screams.
I still don’t move…
Time and time again, I obeyed. Complied. Turned myself into a ghost.
Don’t be seen. Don’t be heard. That’s the only way to survive.
I carried that mentality into my marriage. I became nothing but a quiet existence in the shadows of our home.
But I’m tired of not existing. I need to find my voice so I can speak for all of the girls’ ghosts screaming soundlessly from their graves.
25
AVA
About fifteen minutes later, Ellis and I are walking into the hotel he’s staying at. As he unlocks his room door, I check my phone to see if Clara has messaged me at all.
Clara: Just checking in to see how things are going.
Ellis opens the door and motions for me to go in first. I step over the threshold, sending Clara a reply as I do.
Me: I’m fine. Some crazy stuff went down. I’ll tell you more about it when I get back. How are you doing? And how’s Bailey doing?
Clara: I’m fine. Bailey’s doing okay. He acts like he wants to go for a walk, but I’m a bit worried about going outside by myself, so maybe we can do that when you get back.
Me: Yeah, wait for me please. I’ll let you know when I’m leaving.
I pocket my phone as Ellis closes and locks the door. Then he rotates around, slumps against the door, and scrubs his hand across his face.
“Fuck.” He grumbles a series of curses then pinches the brim of his nose. “Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” I sink onto the bed and massage my temples with my fingertips.
“I know, but…” He blows out a sigh. “I can’t break down right now.”
“Why? I’ve broken down like ten times. Maybe it’s your turn,” I suggest, resting back on my hands.
There’s a chance I might be in shock. Either that or I’ve become numb to the awful things my family has done.
He studies me for a moment before wandering over to the bar area, where he collects a bottle of whiskey and pours himself a drink. Then he downs it in one gulp, sets the glass down, and faces me.
“Okay, break down is over,” he tells me through an uneven exhale. Then he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, collects his laptop from off the desk, and sits down on the bed. “I’m going to do some digging into that corporation that owns the cabin in the woods. I’m also going to do some research into your family. You mentioned you thought you remembered the police showing up in the town you lived in before Star Meadows.”
I nod, pushing up to grab the diary off the dresser. “I don’t remember all the details, but I can remember red and blue flashing lights just outside of my old home. My mom was panicking, and I have no clue where my father was.”
He mulls this over as he clicks a few keys on his laptop. “You don’t remember him getting arrested or having charges against him—anything like that?”
I shake my head. “No, but like I’ve said, my memory is a fickle place.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“I know.” I almost believe my words.
“Good.” He returns his attention to the laptop. “Let me know if you find anything in there.”
