The doors unlock and the driver’s door opens, causing me to jolt and hurriedly reach for the glove box. But before I can even get it open, Ellis is sliding into the passenger seat.
His hair is sticking up all over the place, and pieces of leaves and twigs are stuck in it. He slams the door and turns to face me. He takes one look at my face and worry consumes his features.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, locking the doors.
“There’s someone out there…” I trail off as I point at the field in front of the car that is now empty. “Or there was someone out there.”
“Shit, really?” he asks, and I nod. “Do you know who it was?”
For a brief moment, I hesitate, wanting to say: Clover. But that’s crazy, and I’m crazy for thinking that.
“Not that I could tell, but I couldn’t see them very well,” I say instead. “It looked like a woman with blond hair. She was wearing a dress. That’s about all I could see.”
He stares out the window as he rakes his fingers through his hair. “I must’ve scared them off, but where the hell would they go?” He starts up the engine and flips on the headlights, revealing the field in front of us.
“Maybe they went into the woods with my aunt and mother?” I suggest. “Did you find out what they were doing?”
“Not completely. I lost them in the dark. But I do know they headed into the forest—not on a trail either. And before I lost track of them, they were talking about your dad’s will. From what I understand, some of his belongings are missing, like this trunk that he seemed really worried about finding. Do you know what that could be?”
I shake my head. “Not that I can remember, but who knows. Let me think about it, and maybe a memory will return to me.”
“Okay, but don’t push yourself too hard.” He reaches for his seatbelt. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. I don’t know if it’s all the people we’ve seen or just the bad vibe of the woods, but I have this feeling we’re being watched.”
During the drive back to town, Ellis and I discuss the things we learned today. He said that while he can’t be certain, it kind of seemed like my aunt and mother were heading toward the cabin in the woods. Neither of us is surprised by this, considering the memories I have of my uncle and father discussing it. But we still need proof in order for Ellis to attempt to get a search warrant.
When we arrive in town, we grab some food before heading to his hotel. He asks me to come inside for a bit so we can talk about my memories that have been surfacing.
I don’t want to.
But I need to.
Be brave, Ava, for once in your fucking life.
I agree to do it. We settle in the room with our food; I sit on the sofa while Ellis gets situated on the bed. The dried-up daisies are sitting in a vase on the dresser, haunting us like a ghost from the past, whispering to figure this out. I keep thinking of the woman I saw standing in the field who I thought could be Clover. But it’s an insane idea. I need to stop thinking that. This town is just messing with my head.
“You said you couldn’t remember who did that to you… In the woods, I mean,” Ellis starts as he stuffs a fry into his mouth. “Has that changed? And if I cross a line at any time while we’re talking, you can tell me.”
I unwrap my burger, my fingers trembling. “I can’t remember any faces. But the voice I hear is familiar and… At times, I’ve wondered if it was Trystan. After what I overheard him say today when he was snooping through my stuff, I’m pretty convinced it was him, but I can’t remember any specific details that’d link him to being there that day.” I take a bite of my burger and chew as I sift through my mind for something—anything that could give us an answer.
Ellis reaches for his drink and takes a sip. “I’m wondering if maybe it’d be beneficial to have a psychiatrist work with you to see what you’ve blocked out.
A shiver rolls up my spine at the thought of a person digging around in my mind, plucking things out that I’ve blocked for a reason.
“You don’t have to, though,” he hurriedly adds. “It’s just a suggestion.”
My stomach is a raveled vine of thorns. “I’m just afraid of what will happen if I remember everything.”
Will it break me?
Break what’s left of me?
What will I be then if not even pieces of me exist?
“You don’t have to decide tonight.” He takes a bite of his burger and sets it down. Then stands up and collects his laptop, which is on the table beside Clover’s diary. “Let’s do a search to see who owns that house in the middle of the woods.
As my veins flood with anxious energy, I get up from the sofa. One single thought is plaguing my mind: what if the house does belong to someone in my family? What will that mean not just for the past, but for the future?
Seeking a distraction, I wander over to Clover’s diary. “Is it okay if I read some more of this?” I ask Ellis as he opens his laptop. “I read through some of it a little bit earlier, but I’m wondering if I should’ve asked first.”
