I release an exhale but don’t budge even after I hear the front door slam shut. I wait it out, not wanting to get caught.
My fingers are clenched at my sides.
My fingernails are stabbing into my flesh.
But I barely feel the pain through the rage screaming through me, that lightning begging to be released.
And I’m going to release it.
Trystan thinks I’m weak.
And I am.
But I won’t be anymore.
Because that fucking key is in my bag in the car, and I’m going to find out what it goes to.
Just like I’m going to take him down, and everyone else who’s hurt me.
I may have been weak before, but I was alone before—I was scared, and so damn broken.
But last night when I told Ellis what I knew, I started to heal myself. And I’m going to continue to do it until I can barely feel the pain of my past anymore.
“Come on,” I tell Clara as I push the closet door open.
I stumble out and she does too. Then she drags her fingers through her hair as she peers around the room.
“He was looking for a key?” she asks, glancing at me.
I nod. “Yep. I think it’s the one I took from my mother’s room the other night. And it’s currently in my bag in the car.”
She stares at me with a trace of pity in her eyes. I don’t blame her. What Trystan said about me was cruel but partly true.
“I need to talk to Ellis in person,” I explain as I start shoving the rest of my stuff into the bag. “Do you mind if I drop you at that rental and then head over to his hotel?” I stuff a shirt into my bag, focusing on the movements to distract my brain from the fury howling inside me.
“Ava,” Clara says. “I want to help with… Well, whatever is going on.”
I shake my head, strands of my hair falling into my eyes. “I don’t want you getting mixed up in this—it’s dangerous.” Although I don’t even know whatthisis yet.
But I can feel the remnants of pain, and that’s enough of a warning.
I zip up my bag, then stand up. She’s facing me with her arms crossed.
“No more doing this alone,” she insists. “We already talked about this.”
She’s right. But still…
“I know… Can you just watch Bailey for a bit while I talk to Ellis first?” I force down the lump welling in my throat. “It’s what I need right now.”
I hate saying the wordneed. I hate needing anything from anyone.
She takes one look at my expression and nods. “All right, bestie, if that’s what you need me to do, then okay.”
Her words are so wonderful.
And for a moment, it’s like I’m talking to Clover’s ghost.
10
