She pressed her lips together tightly and looked away. It would kill me if she said yes.
When she finally looked back at me, she shook her head. “No. It was one of the most amazing nights of my life.”
I reached for her hand. “It was for me, too, Em. I’m just…feeling confused, I think. I’ve got Noel to think about, and who I want to let into her life.”
Forcing a smile, she took a step back and withdrew her hand from mine. “Of course. I’m sure the woman you planned on having in your life isn’t a librarian, or one who would just up and spend the evening with you.”
“What?” I asked as I frowned down at her. “That has nothing to do with it.”
Turning on her heels, Emma started to pick up her clothes.
“Emma, what are you doing? Why are you getting dressed.”
She paused, then slowly turned to face me.
“When a man gets up and curses, then proceeds to splash his face with water before standing and gazing out a window after sex, that means one thing to me, Harrison. He regrets it.”
I shook my head and started to speak, but she held up her hand. “It’s okay. I get it. You come from an entirely different world than I do. You’re looking for someone...different.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Emma.”
She tilted her head and looked at me. Then she asked me a question that I knew if I answered truthfully, it would change everything.
“Did you, at any moment this evening, want to walk away from me? Regret for any second that we slept together, Harrison?”
I drew in a deep breath as I tried to think of the best way to answer.
Her eyes filled with tears before she blinked them back and whispered, “I have my answer.”
“Emma, it’s a bit more complicated than that.”
She gathered everything up and made her way into the bathroom. I quickly got dressed and waited for her. When the bathroom door opened, she rushed out.
“I called an Uber and they’re here, so I need to go.”
Reaching for her, she took a step back. “Like we agreed, this won’t impact the planning for the benefit dinner. From now on we can meet at the library, or the station, if that is better for you.”
“For fuck’s sake, Emma, please wait.”
Without looking back, she turned and walked out of the hotel room. The sound of the door softly clicking shut caused me to jump. It sounded as if a bomb had gone off.
My heart screamed for me to go after her, drag her back to the room and make love to her. I listened to my head that told me to let her go. That sleeping with her had been a mistake. A big one.
But maybe it was my heart that was making an even bigger mistake by watching her walk away.
True to her word, Emma set up the next couple of planning sessions at the library when she had asked when my days off were. We were never alone, though. There was always another person in the room with us. The caterer, the florist, my mother. Not to mention, anytime I called or texted her, if it wasn’t about the dinner, she never had time to talk.
The next few weeks were the same. She avoided all contact with me unless it had to do about the fundraiser. When we met with the florist to go over the table arrangements, her friend Wendy was with us. When we met to approve the final dinner menu, my mother was there.
So, I, of course, got pissed and decided two could play at that game. I had stopped bringing Noel to story hour. Instead, I had arranged for my mother to bring her.
Today I was meeting Emma back at the hotel to make sure everything was set up right. The dinner was tonight, and Emma and my mother wanted to do one more walk-thru. The fact that my mother had quickly become friends with Emma wasn’t helping the situation one bit. Each time she saw her, she brought her up. She asked why I hadn’t had Emma back over for dinner, and why I was avoiding her by having her bring Noel to story hour. I’d given some excuse or another that clearly hadn’t appeased her, but she had let it go.
“It all looks beautiful,” Emma said as she turned in a circle. “Simple, but elegant.”
“Yes, it really does,” the hotel manager said.
“And the band did confirm with you their arrival time and set up?” Emma asked while I stood by in silence.