“Call me back as soon as you find her location—and that Jess.” I hung up and blew out a frustrated breath. The deeper this shit went, the farther down the black hole we three were falling.
Now the big question. Should I tell Regina and Krew about the new contracts and who took the hits out? Or let them be oblivious until after I tracked down Maya and Jess and eliminated those two?
I entered the house and noticed that the half-eaten plates of food were still on the table. As I picked up the dishes, I heard Krew’s name screamed out in ecstasy. Every cell in my body was telling me to go up and join them. Instead, I dropped my chin and clamped my eyes shut, as pain lanced through my heart. I couldn’t fault Krew and Regina for being together.
Maybe it was for the best. Regina hated me—she certainly didn’t trust me. And without trust, we had nothing. The three of us had nothing. But her and Krew? They fit. Not like me. I was too fractured to be whole for them. Too much darkness overshadowed the person I once was.
I stood there as quiet descended on the space. No wind gusts, not even the typical creaks and groans of the house, reverberated against my eardrum. It was eerily silent. The night made me think—hard and long on what I truly wanted out of my life. Merrick did it. Could I have the same happiness?
Could I have both Krew and Regina? Make a life with them, like I had tried with Jeromy? He would want me to—try—at least.
A tear trailed down my cheek and I quickly wiped the existence away with the back of my hand.
Broken or not, right then, I made a decision. I was keeping Krew and Regina forever… If they’d have me.
Since going upstairs to bed was a no-go, I went to the sofa, and crammed my body onto it. No doubt, it was going to be a long night. At least it was better than sleeping in the truck.
Regina’s Diary
May 9th, 2018
Dear Diary,
I thought I didn’t need to write down my feelings anymore since it’s been three years from when I last picked you up. But here I am again, hiding in the bathroom, staring at a bottle of pills—trying to fight my need to just end this.
You’re the only one I can talk to—tell my innermost feelings, while I fight off the demons that are still haunting me.
It’s not all happy days for me—not since I tried looking for Krew and Decker this past year. No matter how many different searches I did on social media, their names didn’t show up. I need to accept the notion that they simply don’t have any profiles. Which means they don’t want to be found. I also have to give up the dream of ever seeing them again.
I still miss them so damn much. My heart won’t quit aching for them. I thought of calling Decker and Krew’s fathers, but I nixed that idea immediately. Decker’s father would hang up on me because he was a bastard—and I bet he still is. And I wasn’t about to call Krew’s dad in case...
I even went as far as calling Maya again for details, and she actually answered on the first ring. I hoped she’d offer to make the calls for me, but she didn’t. All she told me was that both Decker and Krew left Elida and she didn’t know where they went to.
I don’t know what to do Diary. I want the hollowness in my heart to go away. I want the nightmares gone from my dreams. I want the memories of that night to be wiped clean from my brain so I can live again. So I can love again. So I can be me again.
I just reread what I wrote tonight, and I want to thank you, Diary for being here for me. Because if I can write that I want to love again, and be me again, I have a reason not to take these pills.
Regi
Chapter Twenty-Two
Regi
I slowly woke, sprawled across the bed on my belly like a starfish, contented and relaxed.
I turned my head, blinked and stared over at the nightstand and froze. The digital clock displayed five after seven in the morning.
Holy crap. For the first time in a long while, I had slept through the night with no nightmares. No waking up with my shirt soaked in sweat as screams tore from my throat. It was all because of Krew. He had kept my horrible dreams at bay.
I closed my eyes, and pressed my face into the pillow.
Krew.
Memories of last night had my stomach all fluttery and a slow thrum started between my legs. Krew had made me come so hard with his mouth and fingers I passed out from absolute bliss.
However, I thought he crawled into bed with me. Or was that my imagination? I looked around the room, but there was no sign of him or the clothes he discarded on the floor last night.
I nuzzled the pillow, inhaling the musky scent he’d left on it as I remembered how his talented mouth—his tongue, had made my body sing.
