The brightness from the window temporarily blinded me.
He shifted in the seat, and I got a glimpse of his right eye. He had said he was Krew, but the amber… It reminded me of him. Krew’s brother. And I quickly looked away and my entire body froze as shame slid into my belly like a poisonous snake.
“Regi.” He reached out a hand. “Don’t be afraid.”
I flinched away, not ready for his touch. “Don’t come any closer,” I choked out, trying to reclaim the oxygen that escaped from my lungs.
“What can I do?” Panic coated Krew’s tone.
“I’m… okay.” Liar. I kept repeating to myself that this was Krew. He would never hurt me. And yet, I couldn’t move as tears blurred my vision.
Breathe, damn it.
I finally sucked in a stuttered breath, and gathered my courage to glance at Krew once more. Hurt and dejection marred his sculpted face, and that cut me to my soul. As much as I wanted to reach for him, to soothe the wound I had caused—for him to soothe me, I couldn’t move.
Krew shifted, and I flinched again. “Oh, Regi—why are you afraid of me?” He got off the chair, dropped to one knee and leaned on the edge of the bed. “I won’t hurt you.”
I didn’t want to feel this way about Krew—really, I didn’t. Yet, my brain couldn’t separate him from Teke, even though the brothers didn’t look anything alike.
“I’m not.” I assured him. But the longer I sat there, the more horrific memories from that terrible day rushed back, contaminating the present. The boy I knew—who was a man now, didn’t know what had happened after I ran from the vehicle Teke had stolen.
Even though it had been years, the trauma of that night wasn’t something I wanted to relive again. Ever.
In my head, I wanted to keep that moment locked up tight. I couldn’t imagine how Krew would react if he found out what his brother had done to me. How Teke had destroyed me. He had ripped my soul apart at the same time as my body.
Since then, my life had been nothing except loose, tattered threads, which I had slowly woven back together. One thread at a time.
I had no doubt that Teke kept what he did to me to himself. If Krew had found out, I wouldn’t have seen him at the fight, standing next to his brother.
But this was Krew—my Krew. He had never done anything wrong. I shouldn’t be afraid of him touching me.
“I missed you, Regi. So damn much,” he choked out, and bent his head down like he was avoiding my eyes. That hurt. Yet, my fear and reluctance were hurting him, too.
Gathering what courage I could muster, I tentatively reached out and touched his shaved head. “I missed you, too—I swear I did,” I admitted earnestly. My heart ached from my admission. I’d held those words close to my chest for so long, never uttering them to another living soul.
“Did?” he questioned. He raised his head and I saw the wetness that filled his handsome eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“I can’t do this, Krew. I can’t—” I dropped my hand to my side and shook my head, avoiding his intense gaze. Those eyes haunted me in my dreams. “It’s been years, Krew. We,” I gestured between us, “are the past, and I need to keep it that way.”
Krew winced as though I had struck him. He stood and stepped back as he wiped a runaway tear. “I don’t understand. It has been years since I saw you—but my feelings never changed. After I… Why did you leave Elida? Ghost me? Us?”
“I can’t explain why.” My throat strained at the admission. I needed space to breathe—to think clearly, so I climbed off the bed. The desire to touch him again was only scrambling my brain. Especially after I’d hardwired myself to accept that I’d never see him or Decker again.
He looked me straight in the eyes. “I need more than that, Regi. You owe me an explanation about why you never contacted me. Why you never answered my calls. Or any of my letters.”
Agony ripped through me. Krew wanted answers I couldn’t give him. I couldn’t wipe my tears away fast enough. “I left town right after… I couldn’t stay in that town any longer. I’m sorry that I didn’t contact you.”
“Me too,” he uttered and turned away.
“I’m a different person now, Krew. I’m not that naive little girl you knew back then. I moved on with my life.” The lie slipped past my tongue so easily, that I even believed what I was saying.
“I don’t believe you,” Krew raised his voice, which matched his rigid form.
“You have no choice, Krew” I shouted. “You have no choice.”
The door abruptly swung open, and Decker strode inside. “What the hell is going on in here? I could hear you two outside.”
“Decker,” I breathed in a gasp.
