“I’m not that Decker anymore. The sooner you get that through your head, the better. Now, get the fuck out of here.”
I wasn’t afraid of the gun in Decker’s hand or the man standing in front of me. No. What I feared most was never seeing my best friend again. “Why do I get the feeling this is the last time I’ll see you—promise me, Deck, you disappear on me for good.”
“I make no promises. Now go, before the cops find another body.” Decker closed the gap and the end of the barrel pressed into my forehead. “Now go.”
Clearly, this Decker Moss wasn’t the boy I knew. That guy was gone. The sooner I accepted that fact, the better. “Fine.”
“Good,” he spat back with disdain.
I took off, and without bothering a glance back to see if Decker was still there, I somehow knew he was already gone.
I pulled out my cell phone, located where Teke’s Toyota was parked, and ran the three blocks west from where I was. With the keys in my hand, I was ten feet away from the rusty, piece of shit Corolla, when a guy jumped out from behind a truck and tackled me to the ground. The asshole was on top of me, rendering my hands useless as his knees anchored them to the broken concrete sidewalk.
“Give me the fucking keys,” the guy growled, a knife at my throat. On any given day, I would have handed over Teke’s keys to his piece of shit. Tonight, I was too pissed off at Decker to think straight, and I let my anger at him fuel the fire that coursed through my veins.
The point of his blade nicked my neck, and my only reaction was to attack.
With all the energy I could marshal, I freed my right hand and punched upward, knocking the guy off of me. The tip of the knife cut deeper into my neck as he fell away, but I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t feeling any pain. Only rage.
I rotated my body and punched out again, and the bastard dropped the knife as he flew backward. Before he was able to react, I was in a crouch position, ready to launch myself at him. The guy must have had a few working brain cells, because he took off without stopping to grab the knife.
Before I got into another confrontation with some other bastard, I picked up the knife and slid into Teke’s car. I took off in the direction of the cheap motel we were staying at just outside the city limits. I wondered if Teke had found his own way back to the motel—and then remembered I didn’t give a shit.
I wasn’t sure how bad the cut on my neck was, but I could feel the blood trickling down onto my collarbone. I ran a finger along the neckline of my black t-shirt and it came away wet. But I kept on driving.
As I drove on Route 64, my thoughts slid again to Decker. “Jesus.” I hit the steering wheel as anger and confusion rolled around in my gut. How dare he point a gun in my face? He knew better, especially since he’d seen how my father and Teke had treated me.
Maybe my memory of Decker had been pasteurized by the years of being alone, locked up for what Teke had done. How I hadn’t heard a word—not one fucking word, from Regina or Decker while I was in prison for those two miserable years… My heart would never fully heal from their betrayals and I promised myself that I would never let anyone in. Never again.
I closed my eyes for a second, as heartbreak sliced through me like a jagged blade. After the years I’d spent stitching my life back together, my chest was ripped open again and the old-familiar ache was back.
So much time had passed since then, that these old, warped feelings shouldn’t still be congealing in my heart. I’ve told myself at least a million times that neither Decker nor Regina was ever mine, and that I had to let them go. Tonight, I learned that they were never together. Now I wondered if all my memories were skewed. Delusions.
As I drove, I kept mulling over Decker’s words. My head kept was reminding me that it would be best to walk away, but my stubborn heart refused—it desperately tried to convince me that I would see him again.
But what of Regina?
Chapter Five
Regi
Even after my apartment door slammed shut and I flicked the deadbolt home, the pain in my chest didn’t ease up. The entire Uber ride home, I sucked in one calming breath after another, while I kept looking through the rear window, half expecting to see if someone was following the vehicle. To see if Teke was following me.
I knew I was being stupid. That bastard couldn’t have seen me. There was no way, not with so many people crowding the main floor. But still, I couldn’t clear away the notion that I was being followed.
Sweat soaked my dress, and it clung to me like a heavy, itchy blanket. I had to get it off, and quick. After stripping out of my clothes, I rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a trash bag and shoved the dress into it. Because I didn’t want a reminder of this night, I crammed the bag into the garbage can.
I then got into the tub and drew the curtain snug from wall to wall like a protective cloak. The bathtub felt like the only safe space I had—oddly reminiscent of the ditch I had nearly died in.
My body was shaking so badly that I slid further into the tub, wrapped my arms around my bent legs and tucked my face to my knees.
“I’m alive. I’m safe. I’m here,” I whispered the mantra repeatedly to myself, hoping to fool my racing heart and keep it from beating its way out of my chest. I pulled in another deep breath, but it was lodged in my throat.
How could it be, after all these years, that it took only one glance at the monster, before I crumbled into nothing again?
Then my eyes caught sight of Maya’s old-fashioned double-edged razor she left lying on the tub’s rim. The glint of its silver casing was like a beacon, and I reached for it with shaky fingers. I twirled the base of the handle until it opened fully and exposed the blade.
I removed it and the thin metal was like soft butter between the pads of my fingertips and its matte finish was still pristine.
