Right. We’re getting married.
These last few days with Ben have been difficult and uncomfortable memories have been floating around in my head.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Ben murmurs in my ear as he stretches across the console that separates our seats to kiss my cheek. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Just some uncomfortable memories,” I answer.
He links our hands. “Tell me,” he insists.
“In college, I dated this guy named Brandon. He was my first real boyfriend and I did absolutely everything wrong. I thought I was supposed to spend all of my time with him and I just ignored my friends.”
Ben hums thoughtfully before responding. “Did he ask you to stop seeing your friends?”
“No, not exactly,” I stammer. “But he didn’t want to do anything with his friends either.”
“Hmm,” is all Ben says.
“Instead of going home for the summer like everyone else, I moved in with him. I put so much distance between myself and my friends and family because I thought that’s how I was supposed to act.” He squeezes my hand tight and I manage to look him in the eye. There’s so much love written all over his face it’s hard to believe I even considered sacrificing our relationship. “I finally realized what I had done and ended the relationship.”
“Did he put up any kind of fight? Try to win you back?”
My shoulders slump slightly. That was always the thing that bothered me about breaking up with Brandon. “No. He let me end things pretty easily.”
“Well, he sounds like a total knob.”
“It doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t. The damage to other relationships was already done. When I went home for the summer, my grandmother died and I was so heartbroken. I missed out on spending time with her and then she was gone. I was devastated.”
Ben reaches up and brushes away my tears. “I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“So am I and I promised myself never to let it happen again.”
“Do you think I’m going to just give up everything in my life to appease Alistair?”
I shrug. “I don’t really know.”
He brushes the back of his hand along my cheek and it sends shivers down my spine. “Darling, there’s been a rift between my brother and I for years. It started growing the moment I bought the pub. I love my brother, but we have different ambitions. The title and the estate have always mattered to him whereas I’m perfectly content being my own boss.”
“Aren’t you worried about Alistair ruining your businesses?”
“Absolutely not. Alistair is all talk, no action.”
Relief floods through me and I exhale loudly. “I owe you an apology Ben. I made such a mess of things this last week. I’m so sorry.”
His lips tip up into a half smile. “No one said that love is easy, Milly. It’s going to be messy and complicated. We just have to be honest with each other.” He places a finger over his lips like there’s something else he wants to say. His cute half smile turns into a full-blown shit-eating grin. “That sounds like something you ought to put in your vows.”
“Oh god, I don’t even want to think about a wedding right now. I’ve still got months of waiting for my visa.”
“Do you want to get married in England?”
“Don’t you? In the walled garden at Waterstone Hall?”
“I want to be your husband more than I want to get married in a garden.”
The devilish grin is back and I quirk one brow. “Why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something from me?”
“I have no intention of hiding anything from you. I want to marry you Milly.”
“Why are you coming back to the States with me?”
