“Don’t let this place fool you, the upkeep is expensive,” Ben tells me. “My parents have spent a fortune renovating it. They run daily tours now and rent it out for weddings.”
“You sound almost bitter.”
A tight smile forms on Ben’s lips. “Alistair and I own the estate together. My grandfather passed his stupid title onto my father but gave my brother and I the house.”
“Why?”
“Because my father is an absolute shit businessman.” He runs a hand down his face and sighs. “Alistair and I have to approve every decision related to Waterstone Hall. The renovations were necessary but now, he wants to expand.”
“And you don’t want any of this?” I make a sweeping motion with my arm and watch as Ben’s eyes move across the view.
He shakes his head. “I never wanted to own Waterstone Hall. The land, the house, the title…I didn’t ask for any of it.”
“So why doesn’t Alistair just buy you out?”
I laugh at the irony because even though my father is a terrible businessman, Alistair is even worse. “He doesn’t have the money.”
“So, if the title and the estate aren’t important to you, what is?”
“You,” he says softly as he turns to face me. His large hands circle my waist and he pulls me close. “I have a vision of marrying you in those lovely gardens my mother spent years planning. I have a vision of you running down this gravel path toward me in your pretty white dress and a smile on your lips.”
One of Ben’s hands sweeps across my belly. “I have a vision of our children playing in the park. But none of that matters if I don’t have you.”
Hot tears stream down my cheeks. Ben reaches up to brush them away with the pad of his thumb. Ben’s vision is so clear and my heart thunders in my chest as if to say, “YES! I want that too!” My brain just isn’t on board yet.
Ben’s hand drops away and the disappointment is written all over his face.
“Can we just not talk about marriage for the next few weeks?” I plead.
“Sure, whatever you want.” He starts walking back toward the house and after a minute of standing there, watching him, I follow.
Love is still such a foreign concept to me. Growing up, I watched my grandparents and the example they set. The way my grandfather lovingly stroked my grandmother’s cheek while she was in recovery after surgery or the silly way they would dance around the kitchen. I wanted a relationship like theirs for myself, but no man measured up. At least, not until Ben.
And that kind of love – unconditional love – is terrifying.
But losing Ben is even more frightening.
I hurry to catch up to him and when I’m finally beside him, I loop my arm through his. For the last six months, he’s kept me anchored when I’ve felt adrift. He’s been my travel companion, exploring new and old with me but he’s also given me the freedom to spread my wings. When I’m off on my own, I can’t wait to hurry back home and share everything with him.
“What are we going to do for dinner,” I ask quietly.
Ben reaches across his body and covers my hand with his. “I thought I’d take you into town. There’s a pub here that does a great Shepard’s pie.”
“But I don’t like Shepard’s pie,” I whine. Ben has made me try everything at least once but the list of English foods I don’t like is fairly short. Turns out, I don’t like anything the Brits call “pudding” in addition to tea and Shepard’s pie.
“Well, I s’pose they also have a decent fish ‘n’ chips.”
I hum appreciatively because I’ve developed quite an affinity for the deep-fried delicacy. “Sounds perfect.”
The truce is back on but how long will it last?
Ben
Last night was hard for both of us. It was hard for me to open myself up to her like that and it was hard for me to walk away from her. We haven’t yet had a long, honest discussion and the clock is ticking. For now, I’m going to respect her request. No more talk of marriage.
Except I can’t get over how fucking gorgeous she looks right now. Her brown hair is glossy and wavy, her lips painted a perfect red. All I can think about is how she’ll look on our wedding day dressed in white with a veil covering her face.
“Ben?” The sound of Milly’s voice cuts through my thoughts and I notice she’s standing by the front door of the cabin.
