The other man laughed at him and took his time washing his hands while Anton silently fumed. When he finally left, he checked the stalls and then locked the door.
“What’s going on with you? I’ve called you no less than ten times in the past week and you haven’t returned a single call.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what? Dancing on top of bars again?”
“Leave me alone, Anton.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
He hadn’t been able to leave her alone since they met. Lucky for him, she’d said yes to them moving in together.
“Easy. Stop calling.” Arms still crossed, Tamika paced away from him. At least she didn’t try to leave.
“Talk to me, Tamika.”
In the reflection of one of the mirrors, he saw her bottom lip tremble.
Anton eased closer but kept his distance, when all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and ease her pain. In retrospect, it was clear how much the miscarriage had devastated her, even as she said,I’m fine.
They’d prayed for a little girl. She, because she imagined doing her daughter’s hair and makeup, getting her ready for prom, and watching her grow into an intelligent young woman—all the rites of passage mothers and daughters share through life. The friendship and love she’d shared with her own mother was the template she wanted to follow. He’d wanted a little girl because he wanted whatever Tamika wanted.
Few people understood their relationship. They were like night and day. He was the stuffy corporate attorney, she was the dynamic chemist whose mail-order business was about to become a multimillion-dollar empire. She was also the love of his life, and moving in together had been the best decision he’d ever made.
Their time apart had been hard. He missed her—his best friend, his source of laughter, her smile and vivacious personality making every day a good day.
“Talk to me. We used to talk about everything,” Anton said quietly.
Tamika looked at him, arms still folded protectively around her midsection. Her eyes became glassy with tears, and he could no longer resist the need to comfort her. He closed the space between them with two long strides and wrapped her in his arms. He whispered soothing words as she quietly sobbed into his shoulder.
Someone jiggled the doorknob, but he ignored them, running one hand up and down her back.
When she stopped crying, she looked up at him with red eyes and a trembling smile. “Why do you put up with me?”
“Guess I love you.”
She laughed and swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “I needed time away.”
“From me?”
“From me. From the utopia I’d created in my head of you, me, and our baby. Late night feedings…”
“Changing dirty diapers…”
“Tired from lack of sleep…”
“Staying up all night and staring at her when we should be sleeping when she sleeps.” He smiled through the punch of pain in his chest.
“I wanted all of it. The good, the bad, the dirty, the cranky, the pretty, the cuteness, the…” She choked and swallowed. “I never wanted anything so much.”
Anton cupped her face in his hands. He knew better than to say they could try again. All he could do was let her know that he would be there to support her. They’d both been through heavy losses before, and they could get through this, too. Together.
“I love you, Tamika. You don’t have to bear this alone.”
She gazed at him with grateful eyes. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He kissed her lids and pulled her into another firm hug. “Let’s go home. Okay?”
