“It’s fine. It’s the truth.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not,” he said. “It was uncalled for.”
It was my turn to laugh. “In fact I think it was entirely called for,” I said. “I needed the reminder.”
“What, that I’m an asshole?” he scoffed.
“No, that what I was doing… what we did… that it wasn’t a good idea, to…” I couldn’t quite find the words. “That I needed to be careful.”
“Samantha,” Charlie said, then, “Sami.” His voice was gentle, and my chest felt squeezed tight, like I’d run out of room for my heart and lungs within my ribcage. “You know I’d never do that to you,” he said. “I would never treat you like that.”
“Yes, well…” I said, the words hanging in the air, and in the quiet, I was sure he was remembering the same thing I was. “Well.”
The silence stretched between us.
“So the award, if I get it,” I said, “would be proof. Proof that I didn’t… that I’m not that person. That I don’t have to be. That I can take care of myself. That I’m my own, not my father’s or brother’s to control.”
“That you are enough.”
I hummed in acknowledgement, but he was quiet.
“I thought you were supposed to be smart,” he said at last.
“What?” I turned my face toward him in the dark, blinking toward the sound of his voice, the heat of his tricep as he knocked it against my shoulder.
“I said, I thought you were supposed to be smart. You thought I wouldn’t understand?” He chuckled, and the sound sent a flush of heat over my skin despite his words. “Being the second? The one who isn’t enough? Sami,” he said, readjusting to face me. “Of course I understand.”
“I–”
“I know it’s different. But having to prove yourself? Not being taken seriously by the people you love?” He laughed softly, even now. “Yeah, Sam. I understand that.”
“Why shouldn’t they take you seriously?” I asked. “You’re a CEO, just like James.”
“I don’t know, Sam,” he said. Then, after a pause, “You tell me.”
He was right, of course. I hadn’t taken him seriously either, and suddenly the weight of it lay heavy on my shoulders. James had been the one everyone looked to. Even when he was the one in the papers for throwing punches and sleeping with women he shouldn’t have, he’d been the one set to inherit Verity. Charlie had been theotherMartin brother, friendly with everyone, invited to every party… but never the one people looked to for anything serious.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Don’t be. It doesn’t matter, does it? I have everything I could ever… Everything I could ever ask for.”
“That’s right,” I said. “You’re the richer Martin brother.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t like his usual laugh, loud and joyful.
“That’s right,” he agreed. “I am. And…”
I looked over at him. Our faces were so close together. I glanced down at his lips.
“And?” I said.
“And… the better looking one,” he finished, his lips tilting into a smirk.
“Shut up, Charlie,” I said. “You know, you’re exactly the same as you were back then.”
“I don’t know how to be anything else,” he replied and I smiled, but he didn’t. “But I’m trying.”
We sat quietly there in the darkened library for a long moment, his hand resting on mine.
