“Tell him to take us to the Sterling,” I said. “I’ve never been one for the easy way.”
He paused, looking at me. Assessing. Then he nodded, pulled out his phone, his thumbs tapping out the message.
And I wondered if he, like me, felt a twinge of disappointment that I wouldn’t be going home with him. Not tonight, and not ever, I reminded myself.
It was harder and harder to remember why.
CHAPTER19
Charlie
“I’m invitingmyself over to yours after this,” I said, letting my head drop against the back of my desk chair. I tossed my rubber duck–a gift from a mentor of mine–up into the air, catching it.
Ryan, seated across from me, laughed. “Sure, Charlie.” We’d been trapped in meetings all afternoon, and I was exhausted. I could only imagine how Ryan felt–as the CFO, he was the one in charge of most of the actualworkof getting ready to take the business public, and it was he that had been running most of the presentations. I almost felt bad inviting myself over, except… “You know you’re always welcome,” he added, and I knew he really meant it. “I’ll let Flora know to expect you, and Maddie wouldloveto see her Uncle Charlie.”
“Tell her I’ll stop and pick something up on my way over.” He nodded, already pulling out his phone to text his wife. There was an Italian place on the way to their house that had a gelateria attached, I would get a couple pints for Maddie. Rack up somefavorite unclepoints for my ongoing competition with James–
The thought brought me up short, and I fumbled the rubber duck, almost dropping it.
My ongoing competition with James.
James, my brother who was going to have a baby.
Would his having hisownchild make her bachelor uncle the favorite on a more permanent basis, or would providing a cute baby for her to coo and cuddle knock me out of the running for good?
Andfuck, Ryan would be so, so excited. I clamped my lips shut. He was my best friend, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. I could keep a secret.
Another one.
I stared over at Ryan, his eyes fixed on his phone, texting Flora. He’d be proud of Jamie becoming a father. They’d bond over dad stuff, probably. And their wives were best friends. Maybe she already knew, maybe Edie’d already told her. DidRyanalready know? Had he known even before I did?
The slithering feeling in my stomach was back.
There’s a reason James is happily married and you’re having one-night stands in hotels,said a voice in my head with Samantha’s flat intonation. But it wasn’t a one-night stand, not anymore. I squeezed my rubber duck. My mentor had been a college advisor who told me sometimes you just needed to explain something out loud to figure out the problem. Leading someone–even if it was just a rubber duck–through your trouble spots could help you identify where something had gone wrong.
I didn’t think the duck would have much to say on the topic of my personal life.
I didn’t think it needed to.
I already knew what my problem was. I squeezed the duck tighter.
SamanthafuckingScott.
The challenge in her eyes as I backed her up against the wall, the way she arched against me, the burn of her nails digging crescents into my shoulders, the sweet sounds she made when we were alone….
Yeah. She presented a pretty fucking compelling reason to be fucking in hotels.
And that was what she wanted–whatIwanted–wasn’t it? Evenings at the Sterling, wine and room service and the kind of brain-melting sex that left us both boneless and exhausted, without the energy to bicker and snipe at each other as we did otherwise.
And the late-night text conversation, Charlie?my guilty conscience nagged.The way you can’t stand it when she leaves after?
“Flora says she wants Italian from that place you know, the one with the–”
“Gelato,” I finished for him, nodding. “On it.”
I needed the distraction.
I didn’t want to think about the worrying suspicion, deep in the base of my skull, that what I wanted from Samantha, in my own bed and late at night, wasn’t hotel linens and room service and separate rides home.
