I gripped her pretty ass face.
“If I stop this fucking flight, we're going home to sort out our shit instead, Mary. To the home I promised to buy you the second you left your people’s house and stood with me. To the home where we promised to be a family forever. I ain’t getting no fucking divorce. We promised each other that, too, you remember?”
I stared into her eyes, my mind pulling me back to the day we made those promises. To how it all began… and how it led to me putting a ring on her finger.
Chapter Six.
The Past.
Moses
“What you wanna eat, Shorty?” I glanced at Mary as I drove down a back street.
“Burger World.”
“Cool,” I nodded, thankful I had been grindin’ all morning. I had just enough to cover the food.
“But before we get there… I wanted to talk to you about something.”
I turned the radio down, giving her my full attention. “Sup, beautiful?”
She tucked a loose curly strand behind her ear, chewing on the corner of her lip. I knew then she was nervous, which made me uneasy too, wondering what the fuck she was about to say.
“I wanted to know when we're gonna make this official? I mean… I really like you, and I am trying to figure out where we truly stand.”
Caught off guard, I ran my hand down my face, trying to figure out how to answer that. Shit was complicated. Honestly, I wanted to make her my girl, but I had not yet for personal reasons.
Mary and I had been kicking it for almost two months. The first time I laid eyes on her was at Pokey’s crib. His girl, Katrina, was Mary’s cousin. One day, I was chilling with him when the girls rolled through after school, but I wasn’t trying to make a good impression. I remember when Mary walked in; I barely gave her a head nod as I focused on the game. Truthfully, I had way more important shit on my mind that day than trying to holler at a female.
Later that night, though, after Pokey and Katrina went upstairs to do their thing, Mary boldly turned off the game on my ass. Shocked and frustrated, my first thought was to cuss her out. But the moment I really looked at her, all that shit went out the window. I found myself analyzing every detail about her. Loved her pretty brown complexion and how her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, with baby hairs framing her forehead.
Where I was from, females didn’t often wear their real hair. Even in the long school uniform skirt she rocked, I could see her shape. I loved that shit too. She was thick in all the right places. We talked all night, and one of the things I learned about her was that she had just turned eighteen and was a senior at a private high school. The complete opposite of me. I had dropped out long ago.
Before she left Pokey’s crib, I asked for her number. We eventually went on a date, and from there, it was up. Everymoment we spent together pulled me in deeper. However, here we were, months later, and I was still hesitant to take things to the next level with her.
“A nigga feelin’ you too, but I don’t think we ready for a title.” I said, and the disappointment that washed over her face crushed me.
That’s when I realized my feelings for her ran deeper than I thought. Hurting her hurt me. I could see her insecurities bubbling up as she ran a fingertip along her jaw. Another breakout. Like clockwork, her skin always flared the week before her period, whenever it decided to come. She’d told me she had PCOS, and it sometimes fucked with her self-esteem. But that shit didn’t matter to me. To me, she was perfect, even with the occasional acne. Any nigga would be lucky to have her. This was on me, not her.
“Why not? We do everything together, basically act like a couple already. You told me before that I’m the only girl you’re dealing with. So why don’t you want the title?”
I got quiet on her, hoping she’d just let the shit go.
“Or maybe you’re lying to me, and you only want to keep it casual because you still fuck with your baby mama.”
She went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, twirling her neck and shit. Over these past few months of getting to know her, I noticed she was the sweetest girl in the world until you pushed a button. Then she became just as crazy as I could get. Shit turned me on because you wouldn’t expect that from her. Mary wasn’t raised in the hood like her cousin. Her people had made a way, moving her to the suburbs when she was just two years old.
I let out a deep breath. “Nah, I ain’t never lied to you about nothin’. You the only girl I mess with. Like I toldyou before, my baby mama was a mistake. I was never in a relationship with Shorty.”
“Well, what is it then? Is it because I’m different from the other girls you’ve dated? Because I’d rather read books and comics than go to stupid kickbacks on the weekend? Is it ‘cause I wear my skirt past my knees instead of up my ass? Is it my acne? Am I not good enough for you, Moses?”
“Hell naw. I love all that about you. And your acne don’t faze me. You so fuckin’ pretty, that shit doesn’t even matter.” I answered without hesitation, my brows pulling together at her thought process. She had it all wrong. I wasn’t good enough for her.
“You perfect to me, Mary.”
“Then what is the problem? And while we’re at it, why do you keep certain aspects of your life so guarded? Where do you stay? What school do you go to? I’ve asked countless times, and you’ve never truly given me a real answer. Yet you know everything about me. I’m starting to feel like you’re playing with me and I’m wasting my time with you.”
I could see her frustration building with every word she spoke, and she was right. I was sending her mixed signals. We spent time together, texted like crazy, and sometimes even fell asleep while talking on the phone. But still, I had this wall up. I was embarrassed about what my life looked like, and I was scared that if I let her all the way in, I’d lose my mind if things didn’t work out. As much as I liked her, deep down, I didn’t think we had a true shot. Shorty and I came from two different worlds. And I came with baggage…baggage that I didn’t want to put on her. She had a lot of things going for herself.
