His thumb brushed her cheek, featherlight. “You lured them in. You played their game better than they ever could, and you did it for damnyears. I pitied them because they never even knew they were caught in your web.”
“I played it too well, Odysseus,” Penelope finally responded, disgust dripping in her every word. “He believed it, believed I wanted him. Acted on it.”
“No, wife.” He disagreed almost immediately. “Their shortcomings are not yours to carry. They chose their actions.” He paused, drawing in a slow breath. “And truly… unfortunately… I believe that they would have made those choices whether you had engaged. ”
“That changes very little… I am dragged down by it, Odysseus. It suffocates me.” Her voice barely carried over the crashing waves.
Odysseus stilled. “What does?”
“Shame.” Her breath was unsteady, her hands curling into fists at her side. “I let them think it, Odysseus. I let them believe I could be charmed, that I waspersuadable.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I smiled at them. I let them kiss my hands, bring me gifts. I let them believe I wassofteningto them, because it kept them from forcing my hand before I was ready. Because it kept Telemachus safe.”
She lifted her head then, meeting his eyes for the first time. The storm in his gaze was unreadable, but she pressed forward. “I told myself it was a game, that I was weaving a different kind of shroud. But some nights, when the torches burned low, and I was alone, I could still feel their eyes on me. I hated myself for it.”
As her gaze stayed locked on his, something else flashed across her face. “You want to know the most vile fact of it all?”
Odysseus gave a slight jerk of his head, waiting for her to continue.
“It wasn’t even me they wanted. I could have been anybody.” His fingers twitched at his side, anxious to soothe. “They wanted to beOdyssean. First, your queen. Then, your kingdom.”
Her breath caught. She pressed a hand to her chest. “A great war hero, a brilliant mind, a benevolent leader.” Tears burned at her eyes as she held him in her sights. “And his wife crumbled under it all.”
A long silence stretched between them. Odysseus reached for her hand, curling his fingers around hers. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer, reverent.
“Do you think me guiltless?” he asked.
She frowned, caught off guard by the question. “I-”
“Every lie I told, every tale I spun, every man I led to ruin with my tricks - it was always for you. For Ithaca. And yet, the blood is still on my hands.” He lifted their joined hands, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “You did what you had to do, Penelope. Just as I did. Just as we always have.”
She swallowed hard, searching his face.
“You outwitted them. You kept our son safe, our home standing. You keptyourselfalive.” He cupped her cheek, his thumb skimming the place where tears threatened to fall. “And I would rather see you here, guilt and all, then beneath the ground with honor.”
Her breath caught.I would rather see you here.Alive. Even if it meant shouldering guilt. Even if it meant the cost of those twenty years would never fully leave them.
“My strength, my cunning, my handsome charm,” He teased, savoring the scoff he had pulled from her, the gentle uptick of her smile. “None of that makes me Odyssean, my wife. I am Odysseus because you are Penelope.” His eyes shone in the lightof the setting sun, the sincerity in his gaze punctuating his every word. “It isonlyyou.”
“Heart, you have gotten me off on a tangent.” He said, grinning softly down at her. The silence that hung between them was thick, but with each day, with each remembrance of the past, Penelope could feel it. They were finding the man and woman they once were.
“You do so love to talk.” She responded, blinking away her unshed tears. She turned her head, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of his palm.
“The point that I strayed so far from, queen, is that you held off sons of kings, warriors and princes with just your words.” He held her in his gaze like a man looking upon the gods. “You can handle a derelict king and his wife.”
“I-”
“And even if you believe you cannot, I am here. I am by your side. We do this together, my queen,” he stepped back, offering her his arm, “or not at all.”
She hesitated for only a breath before slipping her hand into the crook of his arm, a gentle smile hidden on her lips. Only for him. “Then let’s be on our way, husband. Sparta awaits.”
30
IT FELT STRANGE, being here on Spartan soil again. He remembered vividly the last time his feet touched his queen’s lands. It would be impossible for that memory to fade from his mind.
It had been the night they had stolen into the darkness together. The night they left behind duty and expectation in exchange for something so much greater.
His wartime companion stood on the steps of his palace, a warm smile on his face. Helen, the Spartan Queen, stood beside him. Not much surprised the old king anymore, but to see the stark distance between king and queen piqued his interest.
Menelaus had gone towarfor this woman, separated Odysseus from his family for a lifetime, and he couldn’t stand by her side?
