Ten minutes later, I find myself standing at Claire’s door. I don’t have the balls to knock though. I just stare at the door wondering if I can be the kind of man who’s worthy of a woman like Claire.
The truth is that I don’t know, so instead of rapping my damn knuckles on the weathered wood, I walk away.
That’s something I’m getting pretty good at doing.
32
Pete
Ten days without Claire have turned me into a sad sack.
And my mother, the sweetest woman on Earth, has no sympathy for me.
“Can I get you anything, Ma?” I ask, taking her tray and setting it on her dresser. Her hysterectomy went well, and the doctors are pleased so far. They’ll still prick her with needles and test her until the end of days, but her prognosis looks good right now.
“There is one thing I need,” she says, smiling up at me from her seat by the window.
“Yeah, Ma. Anything. You name it. Could you go for some ice cream?”
She shakes her head like she can’t believe she raised such a dummy. “I don’t want ice cream, Peter. I want you to remove your head from your behind and make things right with Claire.”
“I’m not sure it’s that simple, Ma. What she did was risky as hell, and she’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m justworried about her, but maybe that means I’m not the right person for her.”
My mother sighs with frustration. “Do you worry about me, Pete?”
“Are you kidding? You know I do.”
“And do you worry about your brothers? About Gramma?”
I shake my head. “Of course. You’re my family.” I have no idea where she’s going with this, unless she’s decided to gauge my loyalty.
“How about Van and Rosco, or Ollie and JT?”
“Yeah, when something’s wrong, of course I worry about them. They’re my best friends.”
“If you care about all of us so much, and you worry about us, too, why haven’t you issued us any ultimatums? Or walked away from us?”
Oof. Leave it to Ma to go for the jugular. “It’s not the same,” I protest. But my words are weak. She knows it and I know it.
Ma takes a sip of tea before she lands her final blow. “If you’re so worried about her, Pete, why are you the one hurting her? Your job isn’t to keep all the bad things at bay, honey. Nobody can do that. Bad things happen. But when you love someone, you support them through the tough times. You listen to them. You help them. You don’t walk away.”
“You’re pretty smart, Ma,” I say, letting the truth of her words sink in.
“Of course I am, honey. Where do you think you got it from?”
It’s been three days since Ma told me to get my head out of my ass, but there were logistics to deal with. Grand gestures don’t just happen, you know.
I enlisted the help of my friends, and they came through, like I knew they would. But now it’s all down to me. Claire’s sitting on a bench by the fountain, and I need to make my move.
“Hey,” I say, walking up to her like I haven’t essentially ghosted her for about two weeks.
She eyes me with caution, and I can’t blame her. But I’m on a mission, so I stick to the script.
“Have you seen the latest issue ofThe Howler?”
“Uh, yeah. I wrote some of it, so I’m familiar.” The glare penetrating from her eyes tells me Frosty Claire is back in action. Well, she can bring it. Because I love every version of the woman—the scathing, scowling one, the sweet and loving one, the funny as hell one, and the fearless one. The one who isn’t afraid to dig for the truth and expose the injustices she finds.
“It’s a good issue,” I say, the words hanging awkwardly in the air after they leave my mouth.
