I blink back at him. How can he go from sweet and caring, tenderly washing my hair, to this raging beast with just a simple touch of my finger? “Do I need permission?”
His nostrils flare, and I can see he’s trying to calm the raging beast inside. “Yes.”
“But you can drug me and do what you want?”
“Only when it’s for your own good.”
“I just want to get to know you. The real you. Someone hurt you, and I want to know who so I can eliminate them off this planet.”
His eyes flash, dark and dangerous. Just when I think he’s going to walk away from me again, he takes my face in his hands and crushes his lips with mine in a searing kiss that steals my breath. When he eventually pulls back, I’m left panting and confused.
“What the fuck was that?” My heart races out of my chest as I stare back at him, needing him to tell me he felt it as well.
He loosens the grip he has on my wrists, his eyes haunted in a way that makes me feel sick to the stomach because I already know who hurt him. His fucking papa. “I can’t go back there; you won’t like the person I become,” is all he says, then his lips are back on mine, kissing me with his pain.
Chapter 15
Orlando’shandscurlaroundmy waist and he lifts me, pressing my back to the cold, damp wall of the shower. Instinctively, my legs wrap around his waist, and the two of us stare back at each other, both struggling to get our breathing under control.
“Take your pain out on me.” My slick, wet skin slides against his as I grind on him. A shiver of pleasure runs through me. My nipples, hard and sensitive, brush against his chest, lighting me up even more. I’m so desperate to be touched by him everywhere.
His hands slide down to my ass as he devours me, kissing me like he needs my lips on his to breathe. I feel the same. The tension between us had to reach boiling point sometime, and now there is no backing out. I need him like fucking mad, and I know he wants me just as badly.
My back arches into the wall as he pulls away from me a little, just enough that he can look deep into my eyes. “You drive me insane, Sloane.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” I press my hips against him, rocking gently, urging him to continue.
“Every time I think I know how to handle you, you surprise me, and I lose myself all over again.” His voice is a low murmur, like he doesn’t want to admit what he’s really thinking but he can’t help himself.
I stop rocking, frozen to the spot, knowing this is more than fucking for him. We do this, and it crosses a line that he has been trying to stay on his side of. “What do you mean?” I whisper.
His head drops, his gaze falling away from mine, his shoulders slumping with defeat. “I’m going to hurt you,” he croaks, his words barely audible, his eyes filled with a profound sadness I haven’t seen before. “If we give in to our desire, you won’t come out unscathed.”
His words settle in the pit of my stomach because I know he’s stuck in the past. Every time we get close, he goes back there. I gently cup his chin, tilting his face upward until our eyes meet. “I don’t think you will. You’re not that man anymore.” I’m not sure why I say it. It’s just a hunch, a feeling in my heart that says he would never do anything to hurt me again. I have seen who he is this week, and he’s not the monster I originally thought he was.
He blinks back at me, his expression like a lost little boy. “You don’t know what I’m really capable of.” His fingertips dig into my skin, and I know he’s on the verge of walking away from me again.
But there is no fucking way I’m going to let him do that again. I see how scared he is, but I know him, and it doesn’t change my mind about crossing this line. My smile softens, and I lean in, kissing him lightly on the lips. One of my hands snakes around the back of his neck so I can pull him in closer to me. “I won’t let you run away from me anymore.” My words vibrate against his lips.
He takes a second, but then he’s right there with me again, his tongue swiping through my open mouth before diving right in. He shoves me into the wall, our kiss turning aggressive as our hands explore each other’s bodies.
When we eventually pull back, his forehead rests on mine, our hearts racing like mad. “It’s not me you’re worried about hating you. It’s yourself, isn’t it? You can’t forgive yourself for who you used to be.”
He shakes his head, and I see the truth in his eyes. “I don’t deserve forgiveness. I deserve to live here alone and never find happiness. You being here is warping my mind, making me believe in something that both of us know isn’t real.”
I’m changing him. I hadn’t thought about what me being here would be doing to him, but he has been alone for so long, of course it’s messing with his head. Now he has me to deal with as well. “That’s not true, you deserve to be happy.”
Even though he’s still holding me in his arms, heat radiating off each of our bodies so damn hot it’s like an inferno in here, he pulls back a little, searching my face. “When your situation is under control, you will leave me and go back to them. I will get what I deserve,” he says with absolute certainty.
My hand lowers down his chest, and I rock my hips into him again, needing our connection back. I was just getting somewhere and now he’s shutting me out again. “Maybe I am a part of what you deserve.”
A bitter laugh escapes him, and I know he doesn’t believe me. “You act like a badass, Sloane, but deep down you are one of the good ones. I have seen the way you changed that club, how you help every person who comes into your life. You make change for the good. I’m black inside, mostly dead except for a small flame that stays burning for you.”
I meet his dark gaze head-on, my face growing serious. “Right now, Orlando, I don’t give a fuck what you are. How damagedyou are on the inside. I see the man I want right in front of me. I know who you are deep down. You’re flawed and dangerous, but that doesn’t scare me, and I want you for everything you are.” I stare back at him, trying to get my racing heart under control because I’m being way more honest than I want to be right now. “And let’s get one thing straight, if you get me all worked up again and leave me hanging without a fucking orgasm, I will come for you, and you will see just how fucking bad I can be.”
His eyes flash with a darkness that turns me on even more. A growl leaves his lips, and I know I have just sent him into beast mode. Thank fuck. He dips his head to take one of my waiting nipples in his mouth, sucking hard.
A shiver runs through me, and I lean into the cold tile wall. “Fuck yes,” I hiss, so ready for this to ramp up. One of my hands runs into his hair, digging my fingernails in just a little.
