Caleb rolled his eyes but handed her five bucks. “What do you say?” he called to her as she ran off.
“Thank you,” I heard her mutter, halfway down the street.
I chuckled and shook my head. My phone started to buzz in my pocket. I didn’t look at it, just pressed the button to silence the call. I wanted to enjoy this time with my boyfriend and his daughter. We were like a family, a real family.
I stole a glance at Caleb, and his eyes danced with excitement as he looked around the town square. Both he and Noelle were eager for the upcoming holiday. Noelle and I planned special activities to do daily as we counted down to Christmas—from baking cookies to decorating the tree and doing handmade crafts. Christmas was also Noelle’s birthday, so we were planning a little party for her.
Tonight, Grand Haven was having its annual holiday bazaar. The town was transformed into a winter wonderland. The lightstwinkled, decorated Christmas trees were on every corner, and everything smelled like pine. Grand Haven on a normal day was something out of a storybook, but during the holidays, it was on another level. With Christmas two days away, you could feel the excitement radiating throughout the town.
All the local businesses put together booths with holiday-themed products for sale. From baked goods to pottery to Dirty Al’s “special” moonshine. It looked as though the North Pole exploded all over the small town … and I loved it.
Growing up, Christmas wasn’t how it was in movies. There were no traditions of decorating the tree, baking cookies, or sitting by the fire with hot chocolate.
No, instead, my mother hired a Christmas decorator who carefully curated our tree and other “simple and elegant decor.”
Julia and I were allocated one “special” ornament a year. One that wasn’t glass, crystal, or whatever expensive accent my mother splurged on.
As for gifts, Jacqueline hired gift wrappers. There was no fanfare or squealing over ripping the wrapping paper or odd-shaped packages. No, it was cold and impersonal, like much of my upbringing.
Being with Caleb and Noelle during this time of year had shown me what Christmas was supposed to be like—filled with joy, love, and a sense of belonging. When I looked at them, I felt at home.
The feeling was foreign and made me simultaneously nervous and excited, which seemed to be a theme with all things concerning Grand Haven. Caleb and Noelle, as well. We passed Santa’s Grotto where hordes of small children were lined up with wonder in their eyes. A group of kids impatient for their turn with the big jolly man were tossing faux snow in the air and some landed on my head. I chuckled and waved off the parents who were apologizing for their kids’ behavior.
My phone buzzed once more in my pocket, so I grabbed the device from my winter coat. I huffed when I saw who it was. “I’m going to take this,” I called back to Caleb, who was lingering at the crumb cake stand again. I couldn’t help but laugh. That man loved a baked good. Thankfully, he was blessed with good metabolism.
“Hello, Mother,” I greeted, my teeth chattering slightly from the frigid weather. My beanie wasn’t covering my ears, so I adjusted it slightly, missing the first words my mother said.
“Grace, seriously,” Jacqueline scolded. I could only imagine her look of disapproval.
“What did you say, Mom?”
“I said, I can’t believe you’re still in that silly small town. So you’re not going to spend Christmas with me in the city?” she asked.
By spending Christmas with her, she meant with her and one hundred of her closest society friends at the club.
“No, I’m quite happy here in Grand Haven, my silly small town.”
“Grace, please,” she pleaded. “This isn’t funny. Do you really believe this guy is going to want anything to do with you after he finds out about the scandal? He has a business to think of. Why are you doing this to me?”
I walked past Dirty Al’s stand and he held out a bottle of moonshine. I smiled and shook my head politely no, moving away from his table.
The gazebo at the center of town was lit with white twinkling lights, evergreen garland, and intricate pieces of holly. Beside me in the center of the town square was a stage for live performances. A choir of children in matching plaid scarfs sang Christmas carols, their voices sweet and slightly muffled amongst the chatter from passersby.
Thankfully, this small space was vacant, so I sat and considered my next words to my mother.
“Mom, Caleb loves me. And I love him and his daughter. I’m not doing anything to you. I’m finally doing things for myself and you don’t like it. You don’t have to, but I really am happy here. He knows the truth. About Julia, the drugs, everything. It doesn’t matter to him,” I confessed to her.
I wanted her to understand. I wanted her to find it in her heart to be happy for me.
Losing Julia was a terrible thing, but it wasn’t my fault. I hated that my own mother thought it was.
While I was on the phone, I saw volunteers pass by carrying trays of complimentary baked goods samples. I smiled, loving the feeling of inclusion.
“Grace, come quick. Noelle needs you,” Jena yelled as she approached the gazebo. “She’s by the petting zoo.” She was clutching one of the Christmas wreaths she decorated.
“Mom, I’ve gotta go.” I hung up the phone and shoved it in my pocket before running toward Main Street where the petting zoo was being held.
As I brushed through crowds of people, enjoying time with their loved ones, sipping from to-go cups and taking photos, I approached my own loved ones to find Caleb crouching over a distraught Noelle. She was hunched over in a fetal position, her hot chocolate spilling from her cup onto the cobblestones beside her and the danish scattered at Caleb’s feet.
