“It’s fine.” She waved me off, put her shoes on, and zipped her hoodie, placing the hood over her stringy blonde hair. God, she needed a hair treatment—not the time, Grace!
I grabbed her arm. “Please, Jules, don’t go,” I pleaded, on the verge of tears.
“You don’t need me. You’ve got your knight in shining armor over there.” Julia jerked her chin toward Grant. I’d totally forgotten his presence.
“I can be your knight in shining armor too, sweetheart,” Grant cooed with his usual smarm.
Maybe I should break things off with him. It wasn’t like the sex was good.
“Fuck you!” Julia shouted at Grant and then turned to me. “If this sleazeball is who you want around you, Grace, then I can’t fucking help you. And I certainly don’t want to watch this train wreck.”
Before I could say anything, Grant jumped in. “Well, it’s not like you’re sister of the year. You can’t be bothered to stick around for long. I mean, look at the state of you. Are you seriously doling out life advice?”
Julia balled her hand into a fist at her side, and I quickly reached for her arm before she clocked Grant. Last thing Julia needed was any more misdemeanors and headlines for my mother to see. Let alone the charges Grant and his family could pursue.
“Now you’re defending your boy toy? That’s rich after everything we’ve been through!” Julia shouted, wiggling her arm free. She fake lunged at Grant, and he backed away dramatically.
“I’m not defending him,” I shouted. “I’m protecting you.”
Julia gave me a face of disgust. “Okay, now you really are Mom.” She bolted for the door, yanking it open and stepping outside. The rain had lessened to a drizzle, but the air was still chilled, and everything was slick.
I ran after her, almost tripping face-first with the high heels I was wearing.
Julia raced down the steps, stopping at the bottom one to pull out her cigarettes. Before she could light one, I knocked the pack out of her hand, sending it tumbling into the street. Julia shoved me and I shoved her back.
“Ladies, ladies, no need to fight. Let’s go inside. I’m sure there’s a more productive way to work out all this tension,” Grant taunted, leaning against the doorjamb and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
I glanced up at him and rolled my eyes, and Julia gave him the finger as she walked toward the curb to find her cigarettes.
“Julia, what do you expect? Me to leave my life here and run away with you to no-man’s-land?” I yelled, not giving a shit about the fact that we were in public.
My saving grace was the late hour and how dark it was outside.
Her actions were really starting to piss me off. She just waltzed in and acted like she could control me. Like she had any right to have a say over how I lived my life. She knew nothing about me.
Then that stupid little voice in my head said, “Like your mother already controls you?” Instead of using the thought to be rational, I used it to strengthen my argument.
“It’s bad enough you left me alone with Mom. Now you’re punishing me for becoming like her? What did you expect? Why are you trying to weasel your way back into my life, anyway? Did you run out of money? Here to hit up the Bank of Grace again?” I screeched and blew out a breath. “Mother was right about you—you’re nothing but a desperate slut wanting attention.” I gestured toward Grant.
My argument was weak, and I was grasping at straws. Even if Grant wanted more with Julia, she’d never indicated the feeling was mutual. But the time for sensible thinking had flown out the window the second Julia made to leave again. I was lashing out at her to hide the way her constant running away was hurting me. Repeating the lies my mother told me to bury what I was sure was guilt over failing as a parent.
I shook my head to try to gain some clarity. What the fuck was I doing? Regret washed over me as my hate-filled words registered in my mind. Despite the pain I felt at being abandoned, I couldn’t blame Julia for wanting to escape everychance she got. After all, I used drugs to do just that. She chose distance instead.
I bit my lip and faced Julia who was now semi in the street. “Jules, wait. I’m sorry.” I ran my fingers through my hair, not caring how I was messing it up.
Julia grabbed the pack of cigarettes and walked toward the sidewalk, but the wet pavement caused her to miss the step back onto the curb, and she stumbled backwards. Her hand stretched for me to take, her eyes going wide when headlights flashed as a car rounded the corner. I ran toward her, my arm outstretched to catch her, but?—
In that moment as I held her limp body against my chest, tears streaming down my face, I was anything but proud of who I had become.
CHAPTER 1
Grace
EIGHT MONTHS LATER—AUGUST
They saylife is made up of choices. Day in and day out, we make decisions, even unknowingly, that impact the entire trajectory of our lives.
A ripple effect of sorts.
