After a long night of restlessness, I finally sat up in bed, admitting defeat. I curled into the hoodie I stole from Caleb. It smelled like him and that brought me comfort.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. Facetime: Cordelia.
I stared at the screen for a moment too long, debating whether to answer. I struggled with choosing maturity over blaming bad service or conveniently missing the call. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the black screen: barefaced, hair in a messy bun, hoodie two sizes too big. I was a far cry from the Grace she was used to, and she’d probably be judgmental. Screw it—I was happy. Let her see.
I answered and Cordelia’s perfectly contoured face filled the screen. She was glowing thanks to the finest skincare money could buy, not to mention that the lighting in her apartment cost her a fortune so it “hit the right spots.”
“Hello, Grace!” She smirked then paused, taking in my appearance. Cordelia frowned but held her tongue.
“Cordelia,” I remarked. I wasn’t going to let go of how she treated me as if I were so easily disposable. She was going to have to apologize for the first time in her life.
“Is that wood paneling?” She cringed, her face contorting as though she were in pain. “Are you wearing a hoodie?”
I waved her off and gave her a no-nonsense look. Cordelia rolled her eyes, and we stared at each other for a moment. We had been friends long enough that she knew I was pissed at her. Even if people in our world would rather pretend things weren’t happening, she was perceptive enough to know what was going on.
A moment passed before she spoke. “I’m really sorry, okay?” Cordelia wrung her hands.
I looked at her, shocked that she actually apologized.
“Hello, Earth to G. Do you accept my apology or not?” Cordelia huffed, crossing her arms.
I rolled my eyes before speaking. “Forgive you for what exactly?” I took a deep breath, staring at her winged eyeliner. “Forgive you for abandoning me this past year when I went through hell? Forgive you for treating me like a pariah? Forgive you for telling my mother where I was and judging me for it? While you might not agree with the location, I would say I’m doing really well here.”
It was the truth. Caleb showed me a side of life I didn’t know existed. A life I wouldn’t have dreamed of because I was too busy turning my nose up at anything that wasn’t shiny enough.
Turns out, diamonds were forged through pressure. Not that I was comparing myself to a diamond, but Caleb was…the diamond in the rough that I’d been blind to in my previous life. Hell, even Grand Haven was turning out to be the hidden gem I had no idea I was missing.
I really liked my life here. And that thought made me both happy and devastated all at once. I knew nothing could stay this good forever.
My sister used to be my glimmer of hope when everything felt dull and gray. I looked to her when things became unbearable. When I felt suffocated and smothered. Julia used to let me be free. Let me be me. But it wasn’t long before she too wanted control of me. To put me in a box. When push came to shove, Julia pressured me into choosing one world. Her world. While I wasn’t happy in my mother’s world, money did make things comfortable. Julia made questionable decisions to survive, and while I liked to think I didn’t need consistency and security, I did. So my mother won. Julia distanced herself after that. Only popping in when it suited her. Oftentimes when she needed money.
As years passed, our relationship changed. We changed.Ichanged. My mother and the life she desperately wanted for us took center stage. I didn’t have anybody telling me how wrongeverything was. How what I was doing wasn’t me. Nobody even cared about what I thought. I was just going through the motions. Go here. Do this. Smile here. Place your hand here. Flirt with him. Talk to her.
I was drowning. I was in so deep, and the current was strong. So when Julia did finally pop back up, I’d already dived headfirst into the very world she hated.
And then I failed the one person in my life who didn’t just like me for the lie. The lie of being effortlessly beautiful. The lie of being happy to parade around in six-inch heels and never complain. The one who pretended to use the correct fork at a dinner party. Who faked liking caviar because it was being offered by an editor of a magazine.
I was sick of it all. I didn’t think I was capable of going back to how life was before everything went so horribly wrong. Before Caleb. He showed me a world that I couldn’t imagine. One that was colorful and bright. Sure, it was a little messy, but at least the mess was out in the open. The mayhem in high society was often swept under the rug. Your mind was the only place where real honesty happened, if you were lucky. I would never be able to sit through a dinner party or even think about mingling with those people anymore and not see the lies for what they were.
The surface talk was bullshit. They spoke about summer homes and new handbags to cover up affairs and scandals much worse than my own. They were just better at hiding their dirty secrets.
But the thing was, I didn’t want to hide anymore. I wanted to live.
Maybe Cordelia deserved a second chance.
“I forgive you,” I said sincerely as I met her hazel eyes.
“Good, now tell me about the guy.”
I chose to ignore how dismissive she was being, and a smile spread across my face at the thought of Caleb. I proceeded to tellher some of the juicy details about my relationship with him so far. It felt nice to have a girlfriend to gush with again. While Jena and I had gotten close during my time in Grand Haven, Caleb was like an older brother to her, so it felt awkward to share these things with her.
“You what?” Cordelia gasped through the screen and I couldn’t help but chuckle at her shocked expression.
I snuggled further into the hoodie, suddenly feeling a chill. Fiona must have turned the air conditioning on.
“Grace, I can’t believe a bartender from upstate made you orgasm for the first time,” Cordelia shrieked. Her face was priceless. The green-eyed monster was infiltrating Cordelia’s hazel eyes. We’d shared enough of our secrets that I knew for a fact neither of us had experienced that from a partner before. The guys that ran in our circle weren’t thinking about making sure you got off, only that they did and with enough time to make it to the club or whatever event where their presence was required.
So even though I’d had sex before, nothing compared to the experience I’d shared with Caleb Jameson, which was why I couldn’t help myself when I recounted it to Cordelia. She’d wanted to know more about the guy I was seeing, and a smile overtook my face as I thought about our most recent date. “Grace!”
