I nodded. “I’m lucky to have help. My mom, Ms. Kenzie, Jena, and even Fiona have helped me so much.
“But you’re right. I worked double shifts. Odd jobs. Anything to make ends meet. I never wanted Noelle to be without anything. She was already without a mom. I couldn’t control that Roxy’s worst fear was being stuck in a small town with a baby and me.” My voice got low and I trailed off.
“She said that?” Grace’s jaw went slack. There was a fury behind her eyes, and she appeared almost protective.
I nodded and Grace sneered. “That was pretty heartless. While I don’t know her, I know damn well that no little girl deserves to be abandoned by their own mother.” She bit her lip and looked at me hesitantly, but I nodded in agreement.
“Roxy now runs with the Wall Street crowd and is in a long-term relationship with her next-door neighbor. She pops in from time to time, and they video chat once in a while. Noelle refuses to call her mom, which secretly makes me happy. Before every visit, I ask Noelle if she wants to see her mother and she tellsme what she feels at the moment. But when the day comes that Noelle says no, I’ll have to respect that and so will Roxy,” I vowed.
Allowing her to visit and still get to know Noelle in the way she could was a gift. A gift I hoped Roxy valued. But I did it for Noelle.
“I sympathize. My dad, Simon, was a drop-in parent as well, especially after my parents’ divorce. He left us for his business partner, Dante.”
“Dante? Not Dana?” I clarified, my eyebrow rising.
“Yep.” Grace nodded once.
“Wow,” I said, as I processed it all. “Well, good for him for living his truth, but he could have still been a father. Being a parent is the best job in the world. Exhausting, but it’s the best,” I stated. “Things weren’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.”
Grace inhaled a breath and smiled brightly at me. “What made you purchase the bar? I don’t know much about raising a child, but I can imagine it is expensive,” she asked.
“Children definitely aren’t cheap, but we were living comfortably, even after I cut back on my shifts at the bar. I was adamant about not using my trust fund to support Noelle, but Owen saw it as foolish—all that money lying around, going untouched. So when I was twenty-eight, he convinced me to invest in Bar. Owen spun it as him wanting to take a step back and enjoy life. He told me that opportunities like this didn’t come around very often, so you had to seize them when you could. What I didn’t know was that he had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, and if I bought the bar, he’d know that his life’s work was ‘in good hands,’” I murmured as my voice filled with emotion.
“I’m glad Owen gave you that chance.” Her eyes blazed into my own. “You deserve the best. You are a good man. A good dad,” Grace said, a passion behind her eyes.
“Thank you, Grace.” I did whatever I could for my child day in and day out. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I did, it never felt like enough. Hearing the validation from Grace, an outsider to my world and the woman who had a hold on me, meant everything.
I brought our clasped hands to my lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “You have to understand, it’s not like I was purposely trying to keep her a secret from you. I’m not ashamed of her in the slightest. She’s my whole world. It’s just ...” I trailed off when I saw her shift from her spot across from me.
Grace stood up from the chair and moved to my side of the table. Understanding filled my eyes, and I pushed my chair back, making room for her, and settled Grace on my lap sideways.
Grace’s hands dragged up over my shoulders before she cupped my cheeks, staring deeply into my eyes. My lips met hers and said everything I wanted to say. Everything that I was still afraid to even think about.
CHAPTER 15
Grace
I stoodin the doorway of his kitchen, watching him meticulously load the dishwasher. Watching him be the perfect specimen he innately was.
“I can help, you know,” I protested, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not an invalid.”
I had never loaded a dishwasher in my life. Matter-of-fact, I’d never really washed a dish. But for Caleb, I was willing to learn.
He shook his head, reaching down to move a glass to the top rack. Once satisfied with his handiwork, Caleb grabbed a soap pod, placed it in the holder, and then closed the machine. He dried his hands on a dish towel, setting it down beside him before resting his back against the counter.
I met his magnetic gaze, clearing my throat before I uttered the words that had been running through my head ever since our dinner conversation. “You know, I really appreciate how you were honest with me about Noelle. I want to be honest, too. I really do.” I gulped and looked down at the floor.
I knew he wasn’t trying to deceive me by hiding this part of himself. Besides, who was I to judge? I’d gone out of my way, not to lie, but to conceal a huge part of myself and I knew he couldtell I wasn’t being forthcoming, but he never pressed, never judged.
I admired him for sharing so much of his life with me. Even though it scared him.
I only hoped one day I could be so brave.
“Grace, I don’t expect anything from you in return. I know when you’re ready, you’ll tell me about yourself, right?” His voice was tender. He spoke in such a way that told me he was careful in his word selection, almost as if I was a skittish animal about to run off at the slightest thing.
I nodded, still looking at the floor. I wanted to tell him. I really did. And I was going to tell him everything. I just needed time. I had to believe that eventually, things would work out. That I would work myself out. That I’d be less scared of how he’d look at me.
“I wish I had a parent like you growing up.” I took a deep breath. “My parents were too consumed with themselves to notice me or my older sister. Social hierarchy was ingrained into us from a young age. You were nothing if you weren’t seen at the right places with the right people. They put on a good show in public, playing the part of attentive caregivers to a tee, but then behind closed doors, they were some of the phoniest and most miserable people. I was barely in my teens when my mother found my dad in bed with his best friend. Needless to say, Jacqueline immediately filed for divorce and ran toPage Sixto spin the story her way. The disgrace of her failed marriage was what she was most concerned about. Image was so important, and she couldn’t take the black mark that was now paired with her name. My older sister Julia and I were left in the dust. I was sent to boarding school, and Julia rebelled against anything having to do with wealth and high society. So January, when I—” I closed my eyes, trying my best to calm myself. It all became too much, and I recognized the signs of an impending panicattack. My hands shook uncontrollably. My breathing was short and shallow. I inhaled slowly and tried to recall the meditation exercises I’d learned. Little by little, the trembling lessened and my breathing evened out. When I was finally brave enough to open my eyes, I refused to look anywhere but the floor in case the walls decided to close in on me.
