Jacqueline grew quiet again. A moment passed before she spoke, and I used that time to glance at Caleb who was staring at me intently. From the distance, he mouthed,Everything okay?
I looked at him fully, and it was at that moment that my mother decided to speak in a low murmur. “You’re just like your sister.” It was said so quietly, I almost missed her statement.
Her admonishment caused panic to rise in my chest. The walls began to close in. I pushed down the uneasiness that settled in my gut—not here, not now.
“Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you sometime next week.” I rushed the words out and hung up before she could say anything else to trigger me.
I nodded at Caleb, who was still staring at me expectantly, his eyes intense and filled with concern. Damn, I had never seen that kind of passion in the color blue before.
Pocketing my phone, I practically ran toward him.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asked, rubbing my arms up and down. The motion was quite relaxing.
I smiled and said, “Yeah, everything’s fine.” I grabbed my club from the rack where I’d left it and was about to take my swing when something stopped me.
Caleb steadied the club that I didn’t realize was shaking from my nerves. “I didn’t ask if everything was okay. I asked ifyouwere okay.” His eyes bore into my own. It was like he really knew me. And that terrified me.
“Sorry, I was thinking about my sister.”
“You have a sister?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Yes. Last time I played mini golf it was with her.” I gulped, hating to talk about Julia but feeling comfortable enough to share a little. “My parents were knee-deep in their divorce proceedings and things became unbearable. Julia loved testing my mother. They clashed constantly, and with my dad gone, I was left in the middle.”
“That had to have been hard for a young kid.”
I nodded in agreement. “Julia hated high society, and from her teen years onward, she rebelled hard against anything my mother pushed her toward. I conformed because I saw the messes Julia made and how her reputation suffered. Once she turned eighteen, shortly after her debut from hell, she got the first installment of her trust fund and hightailed it out of our penthouse.”
In true Julia fashion, she got drunk before showing up at the debutante ball, a coming-out party for high society. And as if that wasn’t enough, she brought cocaine into the dressing room. One of the chaperones alerted my mother what was going on,but it was too late. Julia made her entrance into high society high as a kite. Julia’s date switched her walkout music from something appropriate that Mother had picked out to a popular hip-hop anthem. Julia danced provocatively against her date before Jacqueline, and whatever boy toy she was pining over at the time, ushered her out of the ballroom.
I always confused German Alexanders and Russian Aleksandrs. She had a thing for Alexanders. But Jacqueline only married one of the Alexanders. The other one she shacked up with in Jackson Hole for eight months, leaving Julia and me with Beatrice, who was our live-in housekeeper at the time.
I’d never forget the audible gasps from multiple people in the room. The way they whispered and chattered, acting like they knew Julia and our family enough to cast the stones they did. How they ostracized her, made her out to be a troubled teen, when in reality, she was a young girl coping with the dissolution of her parents’ marriage.
“I worked hard to please my mother. I didn’t want people to whisper behind my back like they did Julia’s. I was too young to realize that no matter what I did, they would still talk. Julia just made it easy for them. She truly didn’t care. On the other hand, I cared too much,” I explained, and tried to shrug it off.
It was ironic that Jacqueline’s worst fear was me becoming like Julia, and Julia’s worst fear was me becoming like Jacqueline. I looked away when I felt the heaviness on my chest once more. “My mother and I are going through a rough patch. She doesn’t approve of, well, she doesn’t approve of me right now.”
Caleb’s eyebrows furrowed, and he looked confused and sad. Like he couldn’t grasp the concept.
“That’s a damn shame. No parent should make a child feel like that. Parents are supposed to be their kid’s biggest cheerleader. A pillar of support,” he went on, his eyes shiningwith such conviction. “Sorry, I don’t want to bad-mouth your mother. It’s just, I think you’re pretty great. What’s not to approve of?” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.
“I’m no saint. I’ve done some pretty questionable things. Put her through the wringer for sure. But I wish she’d see me. See what I need versus what she thinks I need. I’m starting to realize I can’t be the person she wants me to be. I don’t know if she can accept that…” I trailed off and took a deep breath.
Thankfully, the panic seemed to be at bay for the time being.
“All right, enough with the heavy. Let’s get on with this bet,” I blurted, hoping Caleb would let me drop this.
The bet was pointless. I had no coordination whatsoever, and Caleb seemed naturally good at everything.
If he had the least number of strokes, I had to work a shift at Bar.
If I scored the “lowest,” he had to try escargot.
Mini golf scoring was weird.
Now with my nerves, I could only imagine how this was gonna go.
“Your turn, Fancy Pants.” Caleb smirked as he stepped out of the way to give me room to swing.
