“Does she really think that?” Libby asked.
“I don’t know,” Brandon said honestly. He didn’t want to betray Lenore’s confidence or talk about her. “She’s headstrong and stubborn, which can be great qualities, especially on a homestead.”
“But maybe not so great when she gets an idea in her head that isn’t true.” Dawson lifted his eyebrows. “Right?”
Brandon nodded and laid his head down again. “It doesn’t matter. I’m done there on the thirty-first. I didn’t submit this question, but if any of you hear about a job somewhere, let me know, because I’ll be looking again.”
Maybe today. Maybe next week. He didn’t want to look for a job at all, but he couldn’t stay at the homestead.
“I really think you should stay,” Dawson said. “And talk to her. Explain things. Work it out.”
Brandon sat up, the anger that flowed through him so much better than this lovesick heartbreak he’d been dealing with. “Why? It doesn’t matter what I say or how I feel. She doesn’t want to be with me.”
He looked at Alex, so he wouldn’t shoot daggers at his brother. “Please. Let’s just move on. If you don’t want to answer her question, that’s fine. She probably won’t even remember that this was the Q&A meeting.”
“I bet she will,” Angel muttered. “I’ve met Lenore. She knows exactly what’s going on.”
Brandon just closed his eyes, because he was done talking about this. He took a few quick notes of the things people said, including Link’s recommendations for weed control in the hay grass area. Then he turned his phone over and laid his head down again as Alex put up the next question.
His words reverberated through Brandon’s mind.How are you going to get her back?
The truth was he wasn’t, but if he let himself fantasize about what hemightdo, it would start with Lenore’s favorite thing in the world: A pecan pie tart.
39
Lenore leafed through her mother’s photo album, smiling softly at the baby pictures of herself and the milestones of her first year of life—the first solid food she’d eaten, the first word she’d said, when she’d taken her first step.
Brandon had come home from the small ranch owners’ meeting a few days ago. He’d texted her that they’d discussed her question about crops, and he had the answers from everyone. He’d laid it all out for her, but she still hadn’t spent more than a few minutes in his presence since the day the drill truck had come.
She texted him his assignments, and he sent her videos of how to run the smokehouse. He stuck sketches in her front door jamb when she wasn’t home. He’d finished the well house and the smokehouse. He’d sent her all the research he’d done on where to get beehives and bees, turkeys, goats, and the two types of wood pellets he thought would be best for smoking meat—apple and mesquite.
He’d given her the list of grasses he had researched and said she should grow carving pumpkins as well as the smaller sugar ones that people used to make pies, as they both seemed to be wildly popular.
He’d given her Clara Jean Reynolds’s phone number, as she was the buyer for Wilde & Organic, and perhaps they could partner together to sell Halloween carving pumpkins next year. He’d told her that Colt did an autumn apple cider festival, and perhaps she’d be able to sell her honey, jams, and sugar pumpkins at that event too.
A note she’d found in her door after he’d left home to go to church said that a contact at Heidi Ackerman’s bakery—a woman named Grace Carver—had taken over after Heidi had passed away.They need a lot of pumpkin for their cakes, cookies, and breads in the fall,he’d said.
Lenore glanced to the right, where she kept his sketches, notes, and lists. The sight of his handwriting made her chest constrict. Lenore looked away and flipped a page in the book.
Her mother had pinned a quote here by A. A. Milne:
If there ever is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
Tears filled Lenore’s eyes. Right now, she didn’t feel brave, strong, or smart. She felt like a coward, hiding on her own land from the man who wanted to be with her.
She seemed made of weakness these days, unable to even have a conversation with Brandon.
Pure foolishness filled her on a minute-by-minute basis, because she couldn’t find her way through her fear, through the facts and her feelings, to arrive at a destination that made sense to her.
She traced her finger along those words as she read them again:You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
The quote concluded with:But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.
Lenore pressed her eyes closed, the stinging heat of her tears so unwelcome. She missed her mother powerfully in that moment and whispered, “What should I do about Brandon, Momma?”
She’d often asked her mother what she should do about certain things in her life.What should I do about the prom, Momma?
What should I do about college, Momma?
