There was only Elliot left, and that made warmth spread throughout my chest. The school girl inside of me was screaming in excitement after finally getting the older boy that she’d always had a crush on.
I knew then that whatever was going on between us was serious to him. I even knew that the way he was being with me wasn’t like the way he was with the other woman he hooked up with. He didn’t care if they had a good time. He didn’t care if it lasted long or what kind of impression he was leaving them with. But he did care about that stuff with me. He didn’t want to hurt me. When he thrust into me for the first time, knowing I was going to be in pain, he held still and kissed me until the pain eased away. Even after that, he remained cautious about his movements.
The last few months—really, the last few years—were finally gone. I wasn’t allowing myself to be held back by my parents’ deaths. I wasn’t the loser girl who couldn’t have the guy she wanted. In that moment, I had it all, and anything else didn’t matter. I smiled when I realized that I was finally getting what I wanted.
“What are you smiling about, Evie? Is something funny to you?” he asked, slowly thrusting back into me.
“I’m happy,” I confessed against his soft lips.
He pulled back and stopped, looking down at me in confusion.
“What? Why’d you stop?” I bit down on my lower lip, and my brows pulled together as I inspected his face like I could read his mind if I tried hard enough.
“I just…” He looked conflicted for a moment before he pushed back into me.
He pressed his chest to mine as his forearms supported most of his weight. With his hands on either side of my head, he tucked a strand of hair behind one of my ears.
“You’re gorgeous,” he said softly. “I’m glad you’re happy, but I don’t know how you could be. I don’t deserve you.”
I placed my hand on his jaw.
“Elliot deserves me.” I lifted my head and pressed my mouth to his. I could feel him holding back. His mouth wasn’t moving with mine, and I wondered if my statement confused him. I wasn’t sure if I had mentioned how my mind managed to split him into two people—Elliot was the boy I grew up around, and Professor West was my asshole professor who made my life hell. Professor West may not have deserved me, but Elliot for sure did.
Acknowledgment must have settled over him because he slowly started to kiss me back, and the longer his lips were against mine, the more he got into it. After only a minute,he started kissing me harder and faster, and his hips started moving once again.
His hand moved to my hip, and he pulled me into his thrusts. The faster his hips moved, the harder he breathed, and the tighter my body became.
He broke our kiss, trailing his lips down my jaw. He nipped my ear as he rolled his hips, making a spark go off inside of me. I didn’t know what it was, but it was there and it warmed me.
“You feel so fucking good, Evie.” He kissed down my neck. “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of being inside you.” He scraped his teeth along my collarbone.
A whimper left my lips as my release started to build.
“Fuck,” fell from his lips when my walls tightened around him. “I know you’re going to come soon. I can feel you building around me.” He cradled my face, his hips moving faster, his cock rutting painfully deep inside of me, hitting some place I’d never been touched before. “Come for me, Evie. Let me feel you shatter around me, baby.”
I held it back, continuing to let it build.
“You were always going to be mine, weren’t you?” he whispered against my lips. “ All those years, all that waiting,thisis what I wanted. You, falling apart under me. Be my good girl, Evie, baby. I want you to come for me. ”
A whimper left my lips as I used all of my strength to hold it off. It’s not that I didn’t want to come undone. I just didn’t want the moment to be over. I wanted it to last as long as possible because I had no idea how things would be between us when we were done. Would he go back to being the jerk I loved to hate, or would pieces of the boy I grew up with start to shine through?
It didn’t take long before the choice was taken away from me.
He pushed me over the edge with skillful hips and a near-constant rhyme that didn’t relent. The bomb that was building inside my stomach grew until I could no longer contain it. Whenit exploded, it sent shockwaves through my body. Every muscle tightened, causing my toes to curl. I dug my nails into his back as I rode the waves.
“Fuck, baby. There you go. Come for me. Just like that. Just fucking like that, Evie. Fuck…FUCK.” A sexy moan left his lips as he buried himself deeper. A growl ripped from his lips before he lost control. His hips jerked, and I could feel him pulsate inside me as he drained himself of every last drop.
“Fuck,” he groaned, slowing to a stop.
He didn’t say a word, still buried deep inside me, his breathing heavy and matching mine.
I didn’t know how to feel. I was confused. I felt so content and sure of the decision I’d made that led me to where I was. At the same time, I felt panicked about that. I hadn’t just slept with my childhood crush. I fucked my professor. A professor whom I couldn’t decide if I loved or hated. I expected more from my first time. More pain, more regret, more uncertainty, but as I lay beneath him, I knew that I could never regret what just happened.
“You’re incredible,” he murmured against my lips before kissing me gently. He pulled free from my body and rolled onto his back at my side without saying anything else.
We both stared up at the ceiling. I wasn’t sure what I should do now. I almost expected him to kick me out of his bed and revert to being a jerk.
Instead of making the moment awkward or ruining it by turning back into the asshole he was, he just pulled the blanket over our bodies and then turned off the light.
