“Find those vehicles,” I say with urgency. “Get into Viktor's phone, his accounts, everything. I want his location stat.”
“Already working on it. Will call back.”
Lion steps forward, fury etched into the lines of his face. “That bastard's had it out for the Orlovs since our father cut him out of the St. Petersburg deal.”
“And he's hated me since I took over the northern shipping routes,” I add, my mind racing through possibilities. I watch Nikandr shift on his feet, knowing he feels responsible, too, because the Sokolovs know I hold them responsible for supplying Nikandr with drugs. But I don’t feel like embarrassing him in front of the Orlovs and Zolotovs.
My brothers immediately head down to coordinate the teams and round up the convoy. The Orlovs tell us they’ll meet us downstairs, and Nikandr goes with them to make sure every man is adequately armed.
The Zolotovs wait patiently by my side. I feel such fear, such rage, that I don’t even notice I’m shaking until Abram Zolotov strides over and places a hand of support on my shoulder, giving me a nod as if to say,Stay strong.
I nod back and try to quench the pain in my throat when Petrov calls back. “Sir, Sokolov has her at his old meat processing plant on the outskirts east. You know? The one that went down last night. The satellite images we received show that the convoy is parked behind the building.”
I ask for the coordinates, and then the Zolotovs and I rush downstairs to meet our small army and update them on the developments. We put on our tactical gear, and I pass along the instructions based on what I think.
“Lion.” I look at him. “Nikolai and your team head in from the west. My brothers and I go west. Zolotov’s go north. We block them in, okay? There’s no exit from the south.”
They all nod in agreement. I head into the garage, and to my surprise, Nikandr falls into step beside me.
“I'm coming with you,” he says with a finality that touches me.
“Fine,” I say, not wanting to argue. He’s showing up, which is something I wanted all along. We get in the car, and the driver follows the others up ahead.
As we move, the silence between Nikandr and me is tight and uncomfortable. Neither of us says the truth: She left because of what I said to him. On a certain level, I know Nikandr feels responsible, and I want to tell him it’s not his fault, but right now, I don’t knowwhatthe truth is.
All I know is that I’m an asshole for letting her hear, for convincing myself that I don’t love her and that she means nothing. If I can’t find her and tell her how I feel, if I truly never see her again, or ifanythinghappens to her—No. I can’t let myself go into that dark, terrible place.
I’ll find her and bring her back. I’ll get on my knees and beg her forgiveness. I’ll spend every single day for the rest of my life convincing her of the truth: That I am a terrible fool who lied to himself. Who loves her with all his heart.
My hands tremble as these thoughts pass by, and I urge the driver to move faster.
“I’m going as fast as I can, Sir,” he replies.
I growl. It’s not fast enough.
Finally, Nikandr speaks out of nowhere.
“It's my fault.”
I glance at him sharply. “What are you talking about?”
His hands are restless in his lap. “Lilibeth. You said you married her because of me,” he says quietly. “Because of what I told you about her.”
“Nikandr,” I hiss at him. “I swear to you, I don’t care about picking a fight with you right now. I need to focus on bringing my wife back. Now’s not the time.”
“No, it is theonlytime,” he insists and turns to face me, and I'm struck by how clear his eyes are. No trace of the drug-hazed look that had become so familiar. “I lied to you about her, Agafon. And you've been treating her like shit because of it.”
I feel the blood drain from my face and my hands still from confusion, from rage, as though my body and brain are in shock. “What the hell do you mean by that?”
Nikandr rubs his hand over his face. “When we dated—when you found out I was seeing her and she broke it off with me and I said I was in hell because of what she did to me—well, I wasn't the victim. I was already deep into the drugs, dealing with people I shouldn't have been dealing with. I liked that she was young and naive. She was so in love with me, or so I thought, and I used how easy she was to impress and manipulated her in the process.”
I feel ice forming in my chest. “Go on.”
I was possessive and controlling. When she tried to get me to adopt better patterns, I lashed out and often humiliated her in public. I even tried to get her to use it with me. She refused, and I threatened her. She threatened to scream, so I let her go. I called her some nasty words, and I…” He sighs and rubs his hands over his eyes as though he wants to unsee his past. “I convinced myself I was the one hurting when I was the one who hurt her real bad, when she only tried to help me. So I told everyone she'd broken my heart, played the victim. I told you she was a manipulative bitch who'd used me and left me broken.
I listen to Nikandr's confession in stunned silence, each word he utters feeling like a punch to the gut. The imageof Lilibeth, sweet and caring Lilibeth, being subjected to such cruelty makes my blood boil. How could I have been so blind to the truth?
The regret washes over me in waves, crashing against the walls I've built around my emotions.
